Nightmare
by CeilingFanCumberbatch
Summary: Complete revamp of my Nightmare series! Rosalie Benson, daughter of Olivia Benson, was a normal girl who yearned for her mother's attention, until she was attacked at a end-of-school-year party. This leads Rosalie down a path of self-destruction. Will Olivia be able to save her daughter from herself? Read to find out! Rated M for ED/SH/Rape, May be Triggering**
1. Chapter 1

Bet you all weren't expecting me to return! Lol, yes everyone. xoxo-EOForever-xoxo, now CeilingFanCumberbatch, is back! Why you may ask? Well, let me explain.

So, Fanfiction was something I used heavily when I was in junior high school and I loved writing my stories like Crash and the Nightmare Series back then, which both stories got well-reviewed here. I fell out of it when I started writing my own stories, but recently I found myself wanting to rewrite my Nightmare series after re-reading it here and cringing all the way (haha).

At first, I was just rewriting the series for myself, but seeing how much I've grown since junior high school (as a writer especially), I decided to bite the bullet and post the story here. The story is called Nightmare and it will combine all three stories: A Mother's Worst Nightmare, The Nightmare Lives On, and Time to Wake Up (The Nightmare Ends) with some new plot elements added in.

I'm keeping the old stories uploaded here so you all can take a look back (if you like) and see the similarities and differences (if you so choose).

The story takes place around Season 15-16ish, with some A/U moments here and there. Also right now it is Rated T, but will become Rated M later on. Also, there may be moments that might be Triggering. I'll leave trigger warnings on certain chapters if need be.

Finally, I am pretty ahead on the story, but I am always looking for people to collaborate with. If you like what you see and want to join in on the writing of this story, shoot me a message! Also if you have any questions, leave a review or message.

With that being said, I introduce to you: Nightmare! Enjoy and Review!

-J

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Chapter 1:

'Hannah Strong. Age 15. Killed on June 3rd, 2016. Kidnapped on May 20th. Found attacked, raped, and shot in lower back, died from blood loss…'

Olivia Benson shuddered as she closed the case folder for Hannah Strong. Cases like this one always gave her the chills. This was the fourth girl in a string of murders that shook the Manhattan 16th Precinct SVU unit. First there was 14 year old Eloisa Beckett, next was 15 year old Georgie Lively, then 14 year old Allison Winters. Now poor Hannah Strong was to join them. Olivia could not imagine how Hannah's parents were feeling. Their little girl was dead. She hated having to deliver the news to them, but when you are a detective for the Special Victims Unit, it is something that happens often.

"Is that Hannah Strong's file?" Nick Amaro, Olivia's partner, asked. His desk was across from Olivia's so he was able to see Olivia's reaction as she read the paperwork inside the file.

"Yes it is," Olivia answered with a sigh. "The poor girl was supposed to graduate junior high school next week. She had a whole life ahead of her,"

"I agree. First Eloisa, then Georgie, then Allison, and now Hannah. I want to find the sick bastard who has been murdering them and give him a piece of my mind," Nick said, an angry bite in his voice. He was a father of two kids, a son and a daughter. If anything were to happen to them, he didn't know what he would do.

"The only question I have is why is this perp targeting 14 to 15 year old girls? It's starting to look like a pattern," Amanda Rollins, another detective in the SVU, spoke up. Nick and Olivia nodded, thinking. Amanda had a point. The first victim was 14, the second 15, the third 14, and now the fourth 15. It was really strange.

"I bring coffee that wasn't made by Munch!" Fin Tutuola called out as he entered the squad room, his ex-partner Sergeant John Munch following close behind.

"Ha ha, very funny," John grumbled and the detectives chuckled as Fin passed around tall cups of coffee to the other detectives.

"Say Liv, isn't it 3:30 right about now?" John mentioned to Liv, but before she could respond, a young girl entered the squad room. She had thick brown hair and brown eyes that sparkled in the sun. She was tall and lean and her skin was a pale pink. She looked around and had a huge smile on her face when she saw Olivia.

"Hey Mom!" the girl greeted as she hurried over and gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello my Rosalie," Olivia greeted back, a matching smile on her face.

Rosalie was Olivia's 14 year old daughter. Her father was someone who left Olivia before Rosalie was born so it was only the two of them together. Rosalie was a well raised, good girl who was on the gymnastics team at an all girl high school and a good student, making sure that her grades were in the A and B range in all of her classes. Olivia never had to worry about Rosalie getting into trouble since she was always focusing on her schoolwork and gymnastics. She was very proud of her now and will always be proud of her in the future.

"How was school?" Olivia asked Rosalie.

"School was fine. I had a bunch of tests today, but I feel that I did well on them," Rosalie responded cheerfully.

"Nerd!" John called from his desk.

"I heard that!" Rosalie laughed as she trotted over to the man who she fondly called Uncle Munch and gave him a hug. "How are you Uncle Munch?"

"I'm hanging in there, and you?"

"I'm doing alright!" Rosalie said happily. She made sure that each detective got a hug before returning to her mother's desk. "Got another case Mom?"

"Yes, but it is nothing for you to worry about. Why don't you head over to the cribs and get started on your homework?" Olivia offered, but Rosalie's smile seemed to falter a bit when she heard that.

"Can't I stay up here and work at your desk? I promise I won't be in the way!" Rosalie begged. She felt as if she just got here and she didn't want to be sent away to the cribs so soon.

Olivia opened her mouth to respond when Captain Cragen came out of his office. He oversaw all the detectives in the 16th Precinct and when he came out of his office, you knew there was something to be said.

"We might have a lead on the Hannah Strong case. Olivia, Nick, I'm sending you out. Amanda and Fin, I need you to re-interview Eloisa Beckett's parents. Munch, you're on standby. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir!" the detectives answered and soon they were ready to head out.

"Rosalie honey, go to the cribs, get started on your homework, I'll be back soon," Olivia said quickly and soon the four detectives were gone. Rosalie sighed dejectedly and picked up her backpack, making her way towards the cribs, when she heard,

"Ahem! What am I, chopped liver? Come keep me company!" John spoke up and Rosalie was more than happy to sit with him than to be alone in the cribs. She hurried over and sat by his desk, using Fin's chair as her own.

"What do you have to do for homework?" John questioned.

"Not much today. Just Math," Rosalie responded with an eye roll. Math was her least favorite subject.

"Math actually is not hard at all. There is a conspiracy where schools like to change the math curriculum every few years, decide that they've been teaching math all wrong, and pretend they've just invented something new. Math isn't supposed to be hard, but the schools make it to be that way," John rambled, diving into one of his many conspiracy theories.

"Well if it is coming from you, then it has to be true!" Rosalie joked, knowing that John was discussing one of his conspiracy theories again. She's learned to just let him ramble on, although sometimes, she was curious about some the conspiracies he would talk about.

"You know, you are the only person that will listen to my theories," John laughed. Rosalie laughed as well. She loved when she got to hang out with her Uncle Munch. He always listened to what she had to say and never sent her away like her mother did. He was the father she never had. She sighed, her smile falling and John picked that up right away.

"How are you really doing Munchkin?" John asked softly, using his nickname for her. Rosalie looked up at John and knew that she could talk to him about what was on her mind. She could never tell her Mom about what she was thinking about. She probably wouldn't listen.

"I feel that Mom keeps pushing me away, like she doesn't want me around. She tells me I need to start coming to the precinct after school, but when I get here, she sends me to cribs to do homework or does something to get me away from you guys. It is as if she doesn't want to see me, that I am almost…a burden," Rosalie admitted sadly. John understood completely what was going on.

When Rosalie was born, Olivia was the epitome of a 'perfect doting mother'. Her daughter came first for everything. As the years progressed and Rosalie got older though, the cases became harder and Olivia was needed more at the precinct. She loved her daughter more than anything in the world, but work became the top priority and it meant that Rosalie was pushed aside more often than she liked. Olivia did try to make it up to Rosalie by sending her to an expensive all girls high school and giving her all the gymnastics lessons she could ever want, but what Rosalie wanted the most was her Mom. John wished he could do something to make it better, but at the end of the day, he wasn't Olivia.

"Rosalie you aren't a burden, I'll tell you that right now. I'm sure your Mom doesn't push you away on purpose. We have a case right now that's really difficult involving girls your age and your Mom wants you here to make sure you're safe, but she is focusing on solving this case which is why she sends you to the cribs or somewhere else in the precinct. She wants you here so she knows you are safe,"

"I understand, but I feel like she'd rather have me at home than here. I honestly don't know what she wants from me or thinks of me,"

"Have you told your mom what you're feeling?"

"I want to, but I feel she won't understand or listen to me. She'll say, 'That's nice dear, now run along and do your homework!'" Rosalie crossed her arms and looked away. John moved closer to Rosalie and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Rosalie, look at me," John said in a serious tone. Rosalie slowly looked up and met his eyes. "Your mother loves you very much. You are her entire world and if anything were to happen to you, she would do anything to help you. She may not show it a lot, but believe me, I know it is true. She will listen to you if you tell her what's going on. If not, I will. You know you can always tell me anything,"

Rosalie nodded. She knew that her Uncle Munch would always be there for her. John smiled softly.

"Once this case is solved, everything will go back to normal again,"

"You promise?"

"I promise," John concluded sincerely. Rosalie stood up from her chair, leaned over, and gave John a hug. John held her close, knowing that this girl needed this hug at the moment.

"Thank you Uncle Munch," Rosalie whispered. "I love you,"

"I love you too Munchkin," John whispered back. Soon they pulled away and John said, "Now, let's knock this math out shall we? Show me what you know,"


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to fellow fanfic-er Sataistarzoya for favorite-ing and following this story! Hope you come back for more!

So I decided to keep going with posting this story. I'm really curious if it will be as "big" (note the quotes) as the original Nightmare series!

Like I said in Chapter 1, I am always looking for people to collaborate with. If you like what you see and want to join in on the writing of this story, shoot me a message! Also if you have any questions, leave a review or message.

With that being said, Here is Chapter 2 of Nightmare! Enjoy and REVIEW! :D

-J

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Chapter 2:

Rosalie wished she could believe what John had said to her that day in the precinct, but this case never seemed to end. Everyday after school, unless she had practice for gymnastics, it was to the precinct and down to the cribs for homework. Sometimes it would get so late and Olivia would forget about her so one of the other detectives would drive her home and then the process would start all over again. Every lead the detectives would find ended up going nowhere. All the interviews they gathered were the same, with no new information to gather. This case was getting trickier by the day and poor Rosalie was losing hope that she would ever get a chance to be alone with her Mom.

It was a warm Wednesday morning and it was finals week for Rosalie. Soon her school, Kingsbury Academy, would be out for summer vacation! Rosalie used to love summer vacation, but in recent years, it has become a bit of a drag. Every summer since she was a toddler, her Mom would rent a beach house in Cape May, New Jersey. The house was always so close to the beach so you didn't have to walk far to get there. Rosalie loved the ocean breeze, the crashing waves, and the warm golden sand. She loved building sand castles, swimming in the ocean, or just laying back to enjoy the sights and sounds. The best part was that her Mom would turn her phone off and she would dedicate all her time to Rosalie. It meant the world to her spending time with her Mom, but when Rosalie was in middle school, her Mom stopped renting the house and when Hurricane Sandy ravaged the East Coast, the house they always rented was destroyed. Now summers were like any other day for Rosalie. Mom would be at work, she would be at home alone or at the precinct, and it would be boring, boring, BORING.

Rosalie sighed and decided not to think about it anymore. She had finals to pass and good grades to maintain. It made her Mom happy when she got high grades. It gave her some sort of attention that lasted for awhile, but then went away. Today's finals were Math and Science, the hardest subjects. 'Oh how great!' Rosalie thought, but she sharpened her pencils, took out her calculator, sat up straight at her desk, and was prepared to get those test out of the way. Each test took two hours, but once they were over, the students could leave early! Rosalie diligently worked and didn't stop until her answers were absolutely perfect. Soon her two tests were done. As she exited the school building, her hands were cramping and numbers and formulas seemed to spin in Rosalie's head, but she felt accomplished. Tomorrow she had English and History, Friday was Spanish and Art, and then she was done! Rosalie was about to start heading over to the precinct, yet again, when she heard,

"Rose! Wait up!"

She turned around and saw her best friend Lolah McPhee running towards her. Lolah was Rosalie's only friend at the school. She is a natural beauty, with long blond hair, big blue eyes, and perfectly tanned skin. She could easily pass for a model. The girls had been friends since they were in kindergarten and they both came to the school on scholarships. Lolah however, went to two schools. She did her academics at Kingsbury Academy, but studied acting and theatre at a performing arts high school further away, so Rosalie didn't get to see her often. This was certainly a surprise seeing Lolah at this time.

"Lolah!" Rosalie greeted happily with a hug. "Aren't you supposed to be at LaGuardia?"

"I am, but we finished earlier than Kingsbury so all I have are my academics finals here and then I'm done!" Lolah explained in her usual cheerful manner. "Where were you going?"

"Oh, my Mom's been making me go to her precinct after school for awhile now,"

"Ew! Gross!" Lolah shuddered. "Why don't we hang out somewhere?! Ask your Mom! She knows me,"

"I don't know…" Rosalie started, but was cut off.

"Come on Rose! We never get to hang out anymore! It'll be fun!"

Lolah did have a point. She would have a lot more fun hanging out with Lolah than sitting around in the precinct again. Plus, she had no more 'homework' so she would literally be twiddling her thumbs in the stuffy hot cribs. She was NOT going back there again. Rosalie took out her cell phone and Lolah cheered. She speed-dialed her Mom's cell and waited for her to pick up. It took only a ring before Rosalie heard,

"Benson,"

"Mom, it's me," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Oh hi Rosalie! Sorry, it's been hectic here. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine Mom. I ran into Lolah and we really want to hang out. Can I?"

"I don't know sweetie…I really think you should be at the precinct…"

"But Mom! I don't get to see Lolah anymore and I promise we'll be safe. We're just hanging out, getting lunch, normal things," Rosalie tried to persuade. The last thing she wanted to hear was 'No'. There was a pause before her Mom spoke up again.

"Alright, but no trouble! You two will stick together, no parties, no drugs or alcohol…"

"Yes, yes, yes," Rosalie muttered.

"And I want you to call me when you're done,"

"Yes Mom," Rosalie huffed.

"Alright…hold on…honey I have to go. I'm needed again. Have fun!" Olivia rambled before hanging up, not even giving Rosalie the chance to say goodbye. No big deal, because she said yes! The girls cheered and soon they were on their way. Lolah knew all the best places to hang out so it was easy to have fun! They first went to Times Square and checked out some clothing stores. They didn't buy anything, they instead tried on different outfits to see what looked good and what didn't. After some fun, the girls went to a nearby Starbucks for coffee and a snack. Lolah got an Iced Skinny Mocha while Rosalie got a Vanilla Bean Frapp, her favorite drink. They sat at a table inside and were able to catch up.

"You know Rose, you should come to my school! You can do their Dance program!" Lolah chattered and Rosalie rolled her eyes. Lolah has always tried to get her to switch schools, and Rosalie would, but she wasn't into theatre or performing like Lolah was. She didn't like being the center of attention, let alone being on a stage, she would much rather blend into the background if she could.

"Lolah I haven't danced since I was eight! Besides, theatre isn't my forte. You know that," Rosalie explained.

"If my school had a gymnastics team, would you switch?" Lolah tried and Rosalie shook her head.

"Nice try,"

"Suit yourself…I just miss you Rose! We never see each other anymore! We need to hang out more!" Lolah whined and Rosalie did agree with her. She missed hanging out with Lolah too. Lolah was loud and popular. The Queen Bee. Everyone bowed down to her. Rosalie on the other hand was quiet and practically invisible. The Loner. Even though she was on the gymnastics team and they were treated like royalty at the school, Rosalie stood out as the sort of "ugly duckling" in the group. She honestly didn't know how she and Lolah were friends considering how different they were. When she was with Lolah though, a whole different side of Rosalie came out. Someone who was a little more outgoing. Someone who didn't shy away from people. It was why Rosalie liked hanging out and doing everything with Lolah. She could be different for once.

"Anyway, so what are your plans for this summer Rose?!" Lolah asked, changing the subject as she took a sip of her drink.

"As usual, spending time at my mom's precinct, getting a head start on next year's assignments, and practicing for gymnastics when I can," Rosalie answered, almost in a dejected tone. Some summer that was! Before, when she and her mom spent the summer at the shore, her summers were fun and full of stories. Nowadays, they seemed to blur together, with nothing exciting to write home about. Lolah's face contorted to show her disgust as she shuddered.

"Dear Lord Rose! You need to get out more! Live a little! You are only young once and once it's over, it's over," Lolah cried. She then squealed and grabbed Rosalie's hands. "OMG Rose! I have the best idea! There is this party at Peter's Lake this Saturday to celebrate the end of the year and I'll definitely be going. You should come with me!"

"No! Absolutely not!" Rosalie pulled her hands away and shook her head. She knew that Lolah was the party animal, but Rosalie herself was not that. She felt uncomfortable at parties, and besides, her mom distinctly told her: 'No Parties'.

"Why?!" Lolah whined.

"I don't do parties. They aren't my thing…" Rosalie tried to explain, but Lolah cut her off.

"Oh come on Rose! Don't be such a prude! I just said that you are only young once. This party would be great for you! You'll have me and I'll introduce you to people, maybe even some cute boys! College boys! I can show you how to flirt and get their numbers!"

Rosalie still wasn't sure. She didn't like the idea of flirting with boys of any age. She wasn't really comfortable around them the way Lolah was and the way Lolah grabs multiple guys in a night is something that Rosalie would NEVER do. Still, in the back of her head, she thought about what Lolah had said, that you were only young once. She really did want to break her boring cycle and try new things, but keeping her guard up kept her in a safe bubble that she didn't want to break.

"I can also do your hair and makeup, we can find an adorable dress, it would be so perfect and you would look so good!" Lolah continued on, getting sucked into this 'best idea' she had planned.

"But my mom said—" Rosalie found herself saying and she once again was cut off by Lolah.

"Forget your mother! She's only holding you back! Besides, she doesn't need to know. We all have our secrets. Let this be one!" Lolah pressed. Rosalie was silent, her eyes to the ground. Lolah sighed and said,

"Remember what you've told me? You've always wanted to break free and be someone else? How you wanted to stop being so overprotected by your mom? Besides, from what you tell me, she isn't in the picture that much anyway. This is the perfect opportunity for you to shine Rose! You are a really pretty girl and with some touching up, you will look amazing. Nothing bad will happen! It's just another party on another weekend. You can tell your mom that you are having a sleepover at my house, we really go to the party, we have a great time, and then we are back before anyone notices anything different. What do you say? It'll be really fun!"

Rosalie let Lolah's words sink in and she realized that Lolah was right. She has said that she wanted to break free and be someone else and that she wanted her mom to stop being so overprotective even when she wasn't there. She didn't want to be the same old and boring Rosalie, she wanted to be cool and popular. She wanted to be out there and be like all the other girls. Maybe it was a good idea to go to this party. Besides, her mother really didn't need to know. She was so wrapped up in her cases anyway, that she wouldn't even give a second thought. Rosalie finally nodded, the corners of her lips lifting up.

"Alright. I'll go,"

"YAY!" Lolah squealed, nearly jumping out of her seat. "OMG this is going to be so awesome! Just you wait Rose! Your life will never be the same after this party!"

Rosalie tried her best to smile. Maybe this party will work out. She still wasn't sure, but with Lolah there, maybe nothing bad will happen.

The girls finished their drinks and headed out of the coffee shop. What they didn't see was the man across the street in his car, carefully snapping pictures of Rosalie as she walked away.

"There you are," The man muttered under his breath. "Soon enough little girl…soon enough you'll be mine,"


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, hello, hello! I'm alive! I'm so sorry for practically abandoning this story. Basically, college got in the way and now that I am on summer break, I can focus more on sharing this story with you.

So this story is going in so many different directions (since I've started writing again) and I'm excited to see where it will go. For now, here is Chapter 3 of Nightmare! Read, REVIEW, and Enjoy! :D

-J

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Chapter 3:

The precinct was as busy as ever. Every detective was knee deep in work, still trying to find new evidence for the Hannah Strong case. What the detectives thought were leads were coming up dry. There haven't been any more people to interview and every re-interview simply had the same information as before. All of the detectives haven't gone home in days, dedicating every waking moment to this case. Olivia was taking this the hardest, not stopping for even a minute. She wanted to solve this case more than anything and she wasn't going to let anyone tell her otherwise. In her mind though, she hated that she wasn't home for Rosalie. She didn't like when she left her alone for multiple days, but she wanted this case solved so her daughter could be safe. She was also making sure that Rosalie came to the precinct after school so that she knows that she is okay. Once this case is solved, everything should go back to normal again. She kept telling herself that as it gave her the strength to keep going.

It was a hot and sticky Friday afternoon at the precinct. The air conditioner was acting out of whack, leaving every detective feeling hot and bothered.

"When will this air conditioner get fixed?!" Amanda complained, fanning herself with a case folder.

"Captain said he was going to try and get someone to come in by Monday," Fin answered, wiping at his brow.

"I don't think I can wait until then!" Amanda moaned.

Olivia was feeling the heat as well. Sweat beaded on her forehead and trickled down her neck, her long brown hair sticking to it uncomfortably. She found it really hard to focus on any case on her desk. All she wanted a nice cool breeze and a tall bottle of ice cold beer. She sighed and dropped her pen on her desk.

"This is ridiculous," she stated. "How are we supposed to get any work done?"

"We all need a break," Nick spoke up. Everyone paused and thought about it, but then laughed and shook their heads. A break? Yeah right! They tried to get back to work, but the heat continued to annoy them. They nearly ran out the door to their air-conditioned cars when Captain Cragen gave them orders that allowed them to leave the precinct. Cragen himself didn't blame them. He too felt the same humid heat in his closed-off office. As soon as the detectives were gone, that was when Rosalie entered the precinct. She was finally finished with all of her final exams and she was officially done with her freshman year of high school. She had a smile on her face, but it faltered when she saw that her mother wasn't there and when she felt the humid air in the precinct. She looked around and sighed in relief when she saw John Munch at his desk. He smiled and waved her over. As she went over and pulled up a chair next to his desk, John picked up his coffee mug to see that it was empty, but he placed it right back down on his desk with a sigh.

"This might be the first time that I don't want any more coffee," John stated. Rosalie mocked a gasp.

"You, the John Munch not wanting coffee?! Impossible!" Rosalie said dramatically and John chuckled.

"You know what I could really go for right now?" John asked and Rosalie's smile grew twice its size.

"A fig milkshake from Shmendrick's?" Rosalie inquired, producing a brown paper bag from her bag which indeed had the milkshake inside. She knew they were John's favorite milkshakes in all of New York as he had introduced and got her hooked to them when she was very young. He lightened up when he saw the familiar paper bag.

"You're kidding!" John took the bag and pulled out the milkshake from inside. "How did you know?!"

"Oh, I read minds…and I was in the mood for their strawberry shake," Rosalie revealed her own cold drink and John shook his head, a big smile on his face.

"What would I do without you?"

"You'd be milkshake-less…and all alone in the precinct," Rosalie joked and the two of them laughed as they took sips from their shakes, the creamy and icy treat cooling them down in the hot precinct.

"Thank you Munchkin, you really made my day so much better," John thanked, genuinely grateful for the milkshake at that very moment. Rosalie blushed and took another long sip of her shake.

"Where's my mom this time?" Rosalie finally asked.

"Out with Nick scouting. Fin and Amanda are doing more interviews, and I am here. Alone with paperwork," John responded.

"Well, that's no fun,"

"Yeah well, that's what happens when you work for the NYPD, you have no fun," John said simply. "Now it is to my knowledge that you are officially done with school for the year?"

Rosalie smiled and nodded happily.

"Well, congratulations little scholar! One year down, three more to go. You think you did well with all of your final exams?"

"I think so. I basically spent all my time studying so now we wait and see," Rosalie explained. She was glad her exams were finally over with. Freshman year was tough, but sophomore year was going to be even tougher so she was going to make sure she was ahead of schedule.

"Well now you have summer break, a luxury we adults don't get to see often. Enjoy it, my dear, while you are still young,"

Rosalie stopped and internally sighed. What John said reminded her of what Lolah had said at the coffee shop a couple of days ago and it reminded her of the party which was tomorrow night. She was not super excited for it like Lolah was. She fretted over it, a billion questions spinning in her head. She couldn't discuss them with Lolah, and her mom wasn't around to talk with. She needed someone to talk to, someone that would give her advice. She thought about asking her "Uncle Munch" for advice, but if she told him, he would figure it out and then everything would go wrong. She felt this underlying sense of dread about this party, a feeling of anxiety that refused to go away. She hated feeling this way, but she didn't know what to do to make it stop. Should she go to the party or not? It should be an easy decision, but why can't she figure it out?

"Earth to Rosalie? You okay in there?" Rosalie snapped back into reality and saw that John was waving his hand over her face.

"Oh! Sorry, I'm okay," Rosalie quickly responded, trying to look as if nothing happened, but John could read her like a book.

"Are you sure?" John pushed. Rosalie darted her eyes to the ground and tried to think of something to say, but nothing came.

"Did something happen at school? Is everything okay at home?"

Rosalie shook her head as John asked her questions. He eventually brought his chair closer to her and said,

"Rosalie, what is the one thing that we here at the precinct have always told you?"

"If something was wrong with me, I can and should always go to you, my mom, or any detective here," Rosalie finally sighed.

"That's right. All we want is for you to be safe Rosalie and we will do everything we can to help you. Please tell me what's going on?" John asked sincerely and Rosalie for a moment wanted to tell him about this party on Friday with Lolah…but quickly she decided against it. She was being ridiculous and immature. She needed to suck it up. She took a deep breath, sat up a little straighter, and tried to put on a brave face.

"Nothing's the matter, Uncle Munch. I think I'm still stressed about all the finals I took this week. All that has been in my head were formulas and fractions and all I hope is that I did well. I just need to take a break and cool down is all,"

John didn't believe that for a minute, but he let Rosalie continue speaking.

"I think once I get some sleep and some chill time, I'll be fine. Right now I'm just feeling stressed. Sorry that I had bugged you, Uncle Munch. I think I'm going to head home now. Enjoy the milkshake!" Rosalie quickly finished, stood up, and tried her best to walk out of the precinct with an aura of confidence. Once she was outside, she bolted down the street, quickly hurrying home. She was going to text Lolah, confirming 100% for that party. She needed to be at this party where she can grow up and be a different Rosalie, not the same old boring girl. She wasn't a baby anymore, filled with such childish anxiety. This will work, it just had to!

John watched as Rosalie exited the precinct. There was something going on, he knew that deep down, but she wasn't going to tell him. As soon as Olivia returns to the precinct and the two can get some time to themselves, he was going to let her know what happened. His ultimate goal was to possibly get Olivia to take this time off to be with her daughter. Olivia certainly needed it and Rosalie really needed that mother figure. He finished his milkshake and got back to his paperwork, pushing the matter aside until later.

* * *

It was around 10:00 at night when Olivia Benson had a moment away from the Hannah Strong case. She sat on the roof of the precinct, feeling the night's cool breeze against her face. This case was eating at her and she just couldn't figure out who was causing these murders. She was not going to stop until she got to the bottom of this case, but at this very moment, she felt as though she was at a dead end. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She was physically and mentally exhausted. She didn't remember the last time she had a good night sleep, a warm shower, or even a proper meal, but the idea of stopping just wasn't an option for her. As her thoughts ran a mile a minute about the case, she didn't even hear John entering or see him sitting down next to her.

"No leads on the case?" John spoke up and Olivia sighed.

"I can't stop thinking about it. All I see are those girls that deserve justice. I just don't know what is missing,"

John nodded, understanding, but at the same time, he was worried about her. He has known Olivia for a long time and he knew that this case was eating at her. If she continued like this, she was going to go off the deep end.

"Liv, you need to take a break. I mean it. Go home, get some sleep, spend some time with your daughter,"

Olivia felt a pang of guilt at the mention of her daughter. She felt guilty that she hasn't been able to be at home with Rosalie, but this case was important. She wanted it to be solved so that once it was, she could continue to keep Rosalie safe.

"Rosalie really needs you Liv. She keeps coming to the precinct, hoping to be able to spend some time with you. She wants to talk to you about things that she isn't comfortable talking to me about. She came in today and seemed conflicted about something, but she left before I could get to the bottom of it. She needs you Liv. She needs a mother,"

The last sentence brought tears to Olivia's eyes. She felt as though she was neglecting her daughter when she had no intention of doing so. It reminded her of how her own mother spent a lot of time away from home, whether it be at work or in a bar, but nonetheless, leaving Olivia alone to fend for herself. She vowed when her daughter was born that she would never follow in her mother's footsteps, but now she feels as though she is.

"Liv, what's really going on? Is there something I don't know?" John pushed, hoping that he could get some answers. Olivia sighed, biting back tears and finally said,

"All those girls John. They are all between the ages of 14 and 15 years old. Eloisa Beckett, 14, Georgie Lively, 15, Allison Winters, 14, Hannah Strong, 15. Do see the pattern? Rosalie is 14 and call it a mother's instinct, but I just have this fear that Rosalie could be next and if I can just find the right clues, just solve this damn case, I could put this murderer behind bars and know that Rosalie is safe,"

John grasped Liv's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I feel so bad John. You're right, Rosalie needs me, and I haven't been there. God, I hope she doesn't hate me,"

"She doesn't hate you Liv. She loves you, and she's a smart girl. She knows her way around and she knows what to do if someone tries to go after her. She knows that she can come to you or anyone here, but again, go home Liv. Take a break. Spend some time with Rosalie. You both need it,"

"John…" Olivia started, but John knew she was going to argue so he quickly cut her off.

"Or I could go to Cragen and get an order from him…"

"Okay, John! I'll go home…but if anything comes in about the case, you have to call me!"

"Yes Liv," John said, feeling relieved. Hopefully now, the two Benson ladies can have a weekend together. It was going to be good for both of them. Soon both detectives stood up and went back inside the precinct. Olivia packed up, let Cragen know about her weekend off which he supported, and soon she was on her way home. When she got into the apartment that she and Rosalie lived in, it was dark and quiet. 'Rosalie must be asleep' Olivia thought. She quietly made her way to Rosalie's room and slowly pushed her door open. Just as she thought, Rosalie was sound asleep in her bed. Olivia smiled as she walked over to her sleeping daughter and planted a soft kiss on her head.

"I love you, darling," Olivia whispered. "Let's have a good weekend together,"


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again! Here's the next chapter of Nightmare! This is where things are picking up in the story and the 'Nightmare' truly begins! I hope you all are liking it so far. I'm open to all comments, questions, and critiques so feel free to reach out or review!

Anyway, here is Chapter 4 of Nightmare! Enjoy!

-J

* * *

Chapter 4:

Rosalie woke up the next morning to the sweet smell of chocolate and the sound of something sizzling on the stove. 'That's odd,' she thought. It was a sound and a smell she hadn't heard or smelled in a while. Could it be? Rosalie scurried out of bed and out of her bedroom. In the kitchen, she saw it was none other than her mother and she was making breakfast!

"Mom?!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Oh good morning sweetie!" Olivia greeted cheerfully. "Just in the time too! I made your favorite, Chocolate Chip Pancakes!"

Rosalie's mouth began to water as she saw her mother flipping pancakes and sliding them onto a huge plate. Chocolate Chip Pancakes were one of Rosalie's favorite breakfast foods! She quickly went to the table as Olivia placed a plate of three big and chocolatey pancakes in front of her.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Rosalie asked as she doused her breakfast in sugary sweet maple syrup.

"I asked Cragen if I could take the weekend off and he allowed it. I needed a break from the case and I wanted to spend some time with you. We have the whole weekend to ourselves. Whatever you want to do. What do you say?"

Rosalie was surprised. Her mom actually asked to take the weekend off? She hasn't done that in years! Plus she wanted to spend time with her? It was something Rosalie wasn't used to since she had been left alone for so long, but the idea of finally getting to spend time with her mother was something she was all for.

"The whole weekend?" She clarified, making sure that this was real and not a dream.

"The whole weekend,"

Rosalie broke out into a grin and nodded enthusiastically. Olivia smiled as well, happy that her daughter was happy.

"Now eat up, before they get cold!" Olivia said, referring to the pancakes. Rosalie didn't waste a second and took a big bite of pancake. It melted in her mouth and the flavor was perfection. A perfect way to start this weekend. She gobbled down the rest of her breakfast and even went for seconds. When was she ever going to eat such delicious pancakes again?!

Once they were finished with breakfast, Rosalie wasted no time in getting ready for her day with her mom. First, they went shopping for some new summer clothes, had lunch at Starbucks, walked around Central Park, and finally went back to the apartment where they ordered in Chinese Food for dinner and watched romance movies on the couch in the living room. They were on their second movie of the night, _PS I Love You_. As soon as it ended, Rosalie turned to her mother and said,

"This was such a fun day Mom. Thank you for everything!"

"It was my pleasure darling. It has been so long since we spent time together. I really enjoyed it,"

"Me too,"

There was some silence before Olivia spoke up again.

"I know I haven't been around for a long time and I hate that I haven't been able to spend any time with you or talk to you. I just want to say that I'm so sorry and that if you ever need me, you know you can come to me. With anything,"

Rosalie nodded, now wanting to really talk to her mother about what was on her mind, but she didn't know where to start. It almost felt weird that she had wished her mother could spend time with her, she finally got what she had been wishing for, and now she doesn't know what to do with it.

"Mom…I wanted to say…" Rosalie started but was cut off by the sound of her mother's phone ringing. Her heart plummeted in her chest as Olivia stood up and left the room to pick up the call.

"Benson…Yes…Yes…Fantastic!" Rosalie heard and she knew that this 'Weekend Together' was going to be cut short. Sighing dejectedly, she stood up and hurried into her room, shutting the door. Flopping onto her bed, she pulled out her phone and saw a bunch of missed calls and texts from Lolah. She decided to call her back since she was going to be alone in the house again, just like every other night. It only took a couple of rings before Lolah answered.

"It's about time you called back!" Lolah greeted loudly.

"Hello to you too Lolah,"

"Did you forget what tonight is?!" Lolah shrieked. "The party at Peter's Lake!"

Rosalie totally forgot about the party! She had been enjoying her day so much that it slipped her mind. Now that it was back in her mind, she still wasn't sure if she wanted to go.

"Lolah…" Rosalie started, but Lolah quickly cut her off.

"Oh don't even start with that crap Rose! You have to go! What would you even be doing at home tonight?"

Rosalie thought about it. She was supposed to spend time with her Mom, but of course, that got cut short. What was she going to do now? Probably sit at home…and do absolutely nothing.

"Come on Rose!" Lolah continued to prod before Rosalie finally said,

"Okay okay! I'm going to the party,"

"YAY! Oh my gosh this is going to be the best party ever! Come over to my place like right now! We can get ready together! Text me when you're almost there! BYE!" Lolah rambled before hanging up. Rosalie sighed and checked the time. It was almost 9:00 pm. Rosalie quickly gathered her belongings and cleaned up a little. When she was ready, she cracked open her bedroom door and peered out. Her mom was still on the phone. She penned a quick note about going to Lolah's for a sleepover and quietly left the apartment. She needed this party. She was going to live for once.

Olivia came back into the living room after she hung up with Amaro. The squad had found some leads with the case and Olivia had every opportunity to go back to the precinct to work, but she talked it out with Amaro so she could stay home and continue the weekend with Rosalie. She had promised her the whole weekend. She didn't want to let her down like she had been doing before.

"Sorry sweetie, I'm back now…" Olivia trailed off when she saw that Rosalie was gone. "Rosalie?"

Olivia peeked into Rosalie's room. She wasn't there either. She started getting nervous as she wandered into the kitchen, but that's when she saw her note on the counter.

 _'Mom. Lolah invited me to a sleepover at her house. Don't worry about me. Hope you solve your case. -Rosalie'_

Olivia sighed. She blew it again. She sat down at the kitchen table and continued staring at the note. She could go and call Rosalie and try to convince her to come back home again, but it was probably too late. She knew that Rosalie and Lolah would have fun together so she decided to let it go for now and tomorrow she would make the day extra special for Rosalie to make it up to her.

* * *

"This is so exciting!" Lolah cheerfully said as she paced around in her bedroom. "Now let's find you the perfect dress!"

Rosalie smiled as Lolah went digging in her closet. She was happy that she chose to go to the party with Lolah. This could be a lot of fun. Plus, Lolah had the best fashion sense, so Rosalie knew that she was going to look fantastic tonight. Lolah returned with three dresses for Rosalie. One was pink and ruffled, one was blue and sleeveless, and one was black and white with stripes.

"Try them on Rose! These all should look good on you!"

Rosalie tried on the pink dress first, but it was way too tight around the stomach. The same with the blue one and the zipper on the black and white dress wouldn't zip up. Every dress didn't fit her.

"That's odd…I would have thought at least one of them would fit you…" Lolah said, in a confused tone.

Rosalie felt embarrassed as she tugged off the last dress. She couldn't believe that none of those dresses fit her. Every single one made every bulge stick out in all the wrong places. Now Rosalie wasn't a fat girl, not in the slightest, but she was definitely on the 'fuller' side and having a major sweet tooth didn't help matters. She was convinced that if she didn't do gymnastics to stay active, she would be much heavier than she was now.

"Hmmm…let me see if I can find something else," Lolah returned to her closet and kept digging around, seeing if there was something for her friend to wear. Eventually, she came out with a larger and slightly wrinkled pale pink dress with roses on it. "We can make this work. Try it on Rose!"

Rosalie gingerly took the dress from Lolah, and slowly slipped it on. Still a bit tight, but it fits so much better than the other three dresses.

"You look stunning Rose!" Lolah squealed cheerfully, but deep down Rosalie thought she had to be lying. Lolah would never tell her if she looked bad or anything along those lines out loud, but she had to wonder what Lolah really thought about her not being able to fit in those other dresses. Rosalie tried to smile and look happy and excited, but as Lolah did her hair and makeup, all she wanted to do was crawl under a rock. Soon both girls were ready and they were picked up by a guy that went to Lolah's school.

When the girls reached Peter's Lake, the party was in full swing. To Rosalie, it looked as though her entire school plus Lolah's school was there and then some. The crowds were tight and the music deafening. To any teenager, this was the best party of the century. To Rosalie, this was uncomfortable. She never went to parties like this, with so many people all at once. People she either knew from school but wasn't friends with or she didn't know at all. The only person she was comfortable to be with was Lolah, but as soon as she saw her friends from her school, she was gone in a flash leaving Rosalie alone and trapped.

 _'This is so out of my comfort zone. I want to go home!'_ Rosalie thought to herself, seriously contemplating on leaving, but quickly caught herself. She wanted to be here. She wanted to be at this party. She needed this party more than anything if she wanted to start over and become a new Rosalie. Rosalie sighed, stood up straighter, and forced a smile on her face. She decided to walk around and see if she can find Lolah or other people to hang with. As she navigated her way through the crowds of dancing teenagers, she saw plenty of people she recognized from classes or from the hallways at school, but not well enough to go up to them. She tried to push herself into the groups, but they clearly had no interest in her. Even when she found girls that were on the gymnastics team, they let her in their circle, but it was obvious they really didn't want Rosalie there so she excused herself and found a bench far away from the dance floor and sat by herself. Rosalie felt like crying. She tried to fit in, she tried to follow the crowd, but nothing worked. Not even the gymnastics team wanted to be around her. It was hopeless. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her shoulder. Rosalie nearly jumped out of her skin and looked up sharply. In front of her was a young man, much older than Rosalie. Around college age.

"Excuse me? Is this seat taken?"

Rosalie was still getting over the sudden shock so she simply nodded, and the young man sat next to her on the bench. He was tall, had brown hair and eyes, and a smile so wide that it almost gave Rosalie the creeps. In his hands were two full red solo cups. He could blend in easily with the crowd.

"I saw you walking around. Is this your first party?" the man asked kindly. Rosalie felt nervous with this sudden attention from a stranger, but she tried to push it back.

"Um, yeah actually," she finally answered shyly, her eyes darting to the ground. The man simply smiled and while it was wide, there seemed to be no malicious intent.

"Don't worry about it. Parties are always scary in the beginning, but in the end, they are always a lot of fun,"

Rosalie slowly lifted her eyes until they met with the man's eyes. He seemed so…nice. Slowly Rosalie started to become comfortable with him.

"What's your name beautiful?" The man asked. Rosalie blushed at being called 'beautiful'.

"My name's Rosalie,"

"My name's William, but you can call me Will,"

Rosalie was now quite comfortable with Will. This wasn't so bad. If anything, she talked to someone new tonight. It was a start.

"So Rosalie, care for a drink?" Will held out one of the red solo cups. A red flag went up in Rosalie's head. It could be alcohol and she wasn't supposed to drink alcohol, but she pushed those thoughts back as well. Screw it. Rosalie took the cup from Will and nodded her thanks. She took a sip and nearly gagged at the strong taste of the alcoholic drink. She keeps drinking though as she didn't want to look stupid in front of Will. Will just kept smiling though and it almost kept Rosalie at ease.

"Did you come here alone Rosalie?" Will asked once Rosalie was done with the drink.

"I came with my friend Lolah, but she ditched me for some other friends,"

"Well, that's not right! Leaving you alone at your first party,"

"Well, that's Lolah," Rosalie shrugged. "Besides, she wanted to have a good time and that's what she is having,"

"Are you having a good time yourself?" Will asked and Rosalie shrugged again.

"This party is crazy…but at least I'm talking with someone,"

"I'm glad I'm talking with you too. You sound like a really sweet girl,"

Rosalie blushed again. All this attention was making her feel amazing. She was now glad that she went to the party. She can finally be someone new for once. She continued talking to Will who always seemed interested in what she had to say. Soon they got up and Will took her to the dance floor where they danced like no one was watching. Rosalie felt so free, so happy. She didn't want this night to end. Will also got them both more drinks and Rosalie got used to the strong alcohol taste. However, soon Rosalie started to feel dizzy. The lights seemed to blur together and the music became muffled. She felt herself fall into Will's arms and he chuckled.

"Looks like you had too much to drink,"

Rosalie felt herself being led off the dance floor and soon, she was far away from the party. She tried to snap herself out of this spell, but she felt like a rag doll being dragged along and she couldn't do anything about it.

"W-will?" Rosalie slurred.

"Shhh, don't say anything beautiful. I got you,"

Soon she felt herself being pushed into a van. She tried to get away, but she could barely move her legs. Suddenly she felt a sharp prick in her arm and the world went from gray to black. The last thing she heard was,

"You're mine now bitch,"

* * *

A/N: And cliffhanger! What will happen now to our dear Rosalie? Stay tuned for Chapter 5! ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Hello readers! Welcome to Chapter 5 of Nightmare! It's a long chapter this time, yay! It also gets a bit darker as we delve into Rosalie's "Nightmare"

**This chapter includes a rape scene that may be triggering. It was hard to write because I didn't want to be too graphic and it went through many rewrites. Overall, I hope I was able to get the point across and I'll leave a warning before the scene.

Anyway, thanks Benson-Fan19 for your review! I appreciate it and I'm glad you are liking this story so far!

Enjoy!

-J

* * *

Chapter 5:

Rosalie woke up, her head pounding as if her brain was smashed with a hammer. What happened last night? She rubbed her eyes and as soon as she saw where she was, her heart plummeted into her stomach. She was in a dark windowless room with only a mattress against the wall, which she was sitting on, and a chain bolted to the floor which her ankle was chained to.

'Oh my God… ' Rosalie thought as she tried to get her ankle unchained, but it was locked and she didn't have a key or anything to unlock it with. She looked around the room, but no one else was there. Only her.

Now panicking, Rosalie scrambled around looking for her phone, but it was gone. Her dress was gone too. All Rosalie was dressed in was her bra and panties. This was reminding her of her mother's cases and it only freaked out Rosalie more.

Suddenly, a door opened and a man came through. He shut the door behind him and walked down a flight of stairs. Once he reached the bottom, Rosalie was able to see that it was the man from last night, Will.

"Good morning sunshine! I thought you'd never wake up," Will greeted in a cheerful manner. Rosalie wasn't comfortable with him anymore. She was now terrified.

"W-where am I? W-who are you?" Rosalie stuttered in fear, but Will only chuckled.

"I'm Will silly! You know me! I can't tell you where you are though," Will said in a joking tone which was unnerving to the scared girl in front of him.

"W-why? Why are you doing this? My mom's a cop and-" Rosalie tried to speak, but Will cut her off.

"I know your mother's a cop. She was the one who had me arrested and put in jail, but I got out and I'm out for revenge. I was going to go after your mother, but when I saw you…well let's say the plan changed,"

Rosalie went pale.

"Why me?" she whispered and Will laughed.

"Knowing your mother, kidnapping you would very well rock her world and she'd do whatever it takes to get you back, so for now, you and I can have some fun. I'll be back later beautiful,"

Will backed away and started to leave. Rosalie tried to crawl after him, but the chain kept her on the mattress.

"Please let me go!" Rosalie cried. "Please!"

All Will did was laugh as he went up the stairs, went through the door and slammed it shut, locking it.

Rosalie squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that when she opened them again, she would be at home and everything was just a horrible nightmare. When she opened her eyes though, she was still in that dark basement and she burst into tears. Why was this happening to her? She did nothing wrong! She tried looking again for a phone or some sort of way to escape, but she was trapped and she had no way of contacting anyone so she didn't know how anyone was going to know that she was missing. All she wanted at that moment was to see her Mom.

* * *

Olivia woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. It had been so long since she had a good night's sleep. She checked her phone and saw that it was past 10:00 in the morning. She had never slept that late before. She quickly got out of bed, took a shower and got ready for the day. Once she was good to go, she checked to see if Rosalie had come back while she was sleeping earlier. Rosalie's bedroom was empty and there were no texts or missed calls on Olivia's phone.

 _'She's probably having a fun time at Lolah's,'_ Olivia thought. She still sent a quick text asking when Rosalie was expected to come home. Rosalie always answered her texts right away, but this time, there was no answer. Olivia made herself some coffee and a quick breakfast of toast with jam. After she finished breakfast she checked again, but there still wasn't a response from Rosalie. Olivia was now a little concerned. She dialed Rosalie's number, but it went straight to voicemail. She waited a minute and tried again, but it still went to voicemail. Now Olivia was starting to get worried. She looked through her contacts and found Lolah's phone number and dialed it. After five rings, Lolah answered.

"Hello?" Lolah said groggily.

"Hi Lolah, this is Olivia. Rosalie's mom," Olivia greeted. "Is Rosalie still at your house?"

There's was a long pause before Lolah responded.

"I thought she went home late last night. We were hanging by Peter's Lake and we got separated. I assumed she left to go home…"

"Wait, why were you girls at Peter's Lake last night? I thought you two were having a sleepover?"

"Well we were going to, but we decided to check out this party by Peter's Lake and by the end of the night, I looked for Rose and she wasn't there. Is she not home?"

Olivia was now panicked. Something must have happened to Rosalie at the party! She quickly got off the phone with Lolah and began paging into work, asking for an AMBER alert on Rosalie, a sweep of Peter's Lake, and a tracking on Rosalie's cell phone. She hurried out and drove as fast as she could to the precinct. When she ran in, Nick and Amanda were at their desks. They looked up in surprise that Olivia was back early.

"Liv? What's wrong?" Amanda asked, noting that the detective looked frazzled.

"Rosalie went out last night and now she isn't answering her phone. I think she's missing. She never came home," Olivia explained quickly, hurrying to Cragen's office to let him know of what was going on. When she walked in, both Cragen and John Munch were there.

"Olivia? What are you doing back so early?" Cragen asked in a concerned tone. John noticed that Olivia was on the verge of freaking out and it worried him. Was something wrong with Rosalie?

"Captain, Rosalie went out last night to a party at Peter's Lake with her friend and she never came home. I tried texting and calling her, but she hasn't answered. Her friend doesn't know where she could be either,"

Both John and Cragen looked at each other with wide eyes. They instantly thought of the four murdered girls, but they didn't dare say anything to Olivia. Immediately Cragen said,

"John, get TARU on the line to track Rosalie's phone. I'll send Fin and Rollins to scout Peter's Lake with some officers and dogs. I'll call in the AMBER alert. Liv, we'll find Rosalie. I promise,"

John immediately got to his desk and rang up TARU, letting them know to track Rosalie's phone. When Cragen came out of his office and sent Fin and Amanda out to Peter's Lake, they were quick to head out. Even Nick quickly got to work in the search for Rosalie. This was Olivia's daughter and they weren't going to stop until she was found. Especially considering the recent murders. This could be that murderer on the loose.

Olivia hurried to her desk but was stopped by Nick and Cragen.

"Liv, you can't be on this case," Nick said slowly, knowing that Olivia was not going to like that.

"Nick no. This is my daughter, I am her mother. I am to be on this case!" Olivia demanded, her voice now shaking. Slowly the wall of strength she put up was crumbling. She was trying hard to stay collected, but inside, she was absolutely terrified.

"Liv, I'm sorry. We can take care of this. Go home. Maybe Rosalie will turn up and all will be fine," Cragen explained, but Olivia was having none of this.

"Nick you don't understand! What if this is the murderer of those four girls!? What if Rosalie is next?! I should have gone after her! I should have brought her home, but I let her go and now she's gone!" Olivia cried, the wall bursting. She started to hyperventilate, now fearing the worst had happened.

"Liv, breathe," Nick said, going over to her. Olivia tried to, but she couldn't stop panicking. John soon got off the phone and hurried over to the frantic woman.

"Liv, there's no signal on Rosalie's phone. TARU can't locate it," John explained.

"Crap…Nick take Liv home and stay with her. John, you and I will put out a high alert for this case," Cragen ordered. Nick nodded and while Olivia tried to fight, she ended up letting Nick take her home begrudgingly.

Once Olivia went inside her apartment, she checked if Rosalie came home at some point, but the apartment was empty. She sunk into the couch in the living room and held her head in her hands, trying hard not to start sobbing uncontrollably. Where could her daughter be?!

* * *

 ** _(TW: Rape)_**

It was hours before Rosalie saw Will again in the dark basement that was basically her prison cell. He came downstairs with another man behind him. Rosalie pressed herself against the wall, trying to be as small as possible. The men only laughed at her attempts of hiding from them.

"So this is Olivia Benson's daughter…" the new man remarked.

"Yup, in the flesh," Will answered with his wide grin.

"Please don't hurt me," Rosalie pleaded, but neither man acknowledged her pleading.

"God, she is spitting image of Olivia!" the new man exclaimed. "She had a better ass though, and she was much skinnier. Pudgy little thing this is,"

"Tell me about it. No one wanted anything to do with her when I found her at the party. Nobody likes fat little cows," Will sneered and Rosalie started to cry. Suddenly, she felt the sting of a hard slap from the new man.

"Shut up bitch! Nobody wants to hear you cry!"

Rosalie immediately bit her lip to stop from crying even more.

"Well despite all the blubber, I suppose we'll have to deal with it," the new man shrugged.

"Lowell, she's the closest thing to Olivia. Of course, we'll deal with it. We did with the other girls…"

Rosalie's eyes widened. She remembered hearing about a case that involved 4 missing and murdered girls which had her mother and the other SVU detectives busy trying to solve the case. These two men were the rapists and murderers! Rosalie froze as she realized that she was going to be the next girl in the headlines. She wanted to get away, but she was terrified to move. She was trapped like a fly in a spider's cobweb.

"Should we call dear Olivia and really torture her?" Lowell asked, but Will shook his head.

"Not right now. Right now, I'm going to have some fun," Will said, his eyes on Rosalie as he knelt down in front of her. Rosalie whimpered as she tried to back away, but there was nowhere to go.

"Aww, look at that. The baby's afraid," Will said in a voice reserved for young children. He reached out and stroked Rosalie's face. Each touch felt like fire on Rosalie's skin.

"Don't worry little girl. I'll take good care of you,"

His hand ran down her face and body before it reached her thighs. Rosalie trembled and went numb as he began to violate her. She did not want to remember what was happening to her. She didn't move, didn't speak, didn't cry. Silent tears trickled down her cheeks. She wanted all of this to be over.

Soon Will finished and stood up. He saw the frozen in fear Rosalie and chuckled. He turned to Lowell, who watched from behind, and said,

"She's all yours. I warmed her up for you,"

Lowell came over and sat on the mattress, hovering over Rosalie. She snapped out of her paralysis and began fighting, kicking and punching at the evil man.

"GET AWAY!" Rosalie screamed, but Lowell wasn't going to stand for a fighter. He punched her so hard in the face, that it knocked her out.

"Shit…I really wanted you to be awake for this. Oh well," Lowell said, annoyed. Still, he ripped off Rosalie's bra and panties and wasted no time before thrusting inside of her. The forced entry had Rosalie wake up and she screamed as she felt a ripping pain in between her legs. She screamed for Lowell to stop, but he kept going. At this very moment was when her childhood was taken from her.

This went on for what felt like hours to Rosalie. The men took turns violating and hurting her. They slashed at her body with knives. They burned cigarettes on her skin. They beat her with their fists and kicked her until she was black and blue. They forced her to drink alcohol and swallow pills to keep her quiet so they could continue torturing her. Eventually, they got tired of her and went upstairs, leaving her alone and bleeding. Her brain was foggy from the pills and alcohol, but the pain was agonizing. She wanted her mother before, but after everything that was done to her, all she wanted was to die.

* * *

John Munch made it his mission to find any sort of clue to would lead him and the other detectives to Rosalie. This mission was dangerous because if they waited too long, Rosalie could be next on the list of murdered girls. He wasn't going to stand by and wait for orders, he was going to keep searching until his Munchkin was found.

It was early evening, with the sun starting to set. John sat at his desk and thought about the evidence that was found from earlier in the day. When Fin and Amanda went to Peter's Lake, they didn't find Rosalie but they found her cell phone, which was smashed. It wasn't going to help them with this case. Interviews were conducted, but the witnesses they found never even noticed that Rosalie was at the party. Even Lolah when she was called in wasn't any help as a witness since she left Rosalie alone at the party and thought she went home. Slowly, everyone was losing hope in finding the girl that disappeared into thin air.

John didn't give up though. He thought and thought again, trying to piece together the puzzle pieces that were there. Who would go after Rosalie? A girl who kept to herself and never got into trouble. What if the perp wasn't going after Rosalie for herself, but was after her for Olivia? Could this be someone who wanted revenge on Olivia and decided the best way of doing so was to attack her daughter? He decided to check prison records and see if anyone was released lately. He searched through the records and recognized a name that popped up.

William Lewis.

He remembered that man. He was caught exposing his junk to some girls and later was caught attacking and torturing people. He was going to go after Olivia, but thankfully he was put in jail before he could do anything to her. He was released on good behavior, but what he saw next made his blood run cold. William Lewis was released from prison with his cellmate on the same day.

That cellmate was Lowell Harris. The prison guard who brutally attacked Olivia many years ago.

John couldn't believe it. Lowell Harris was supposed to be in prison for life. How in the hell did he get released?! He figured that it might have been overcrowding in the prisons and they needed room, but who knows. He immediately suspected that it could have been him and Lewis since both men wanted revenge on Olivia as soon as they were convicted. Maybe they conversed in their cell about a plan for revenge. He also thought about the other girls that were murdered. Were they attacked by Lewis and Harris as well? Right now, he needed to let Cragen know about this development. He hurried to Cragen's office and told him what he found. Immediately the two men were bumped to the top of their suspect list. Cragen ordered a swarm of officers as well as Fin and Amanda to the houses of Lewis and Harris. John asked if he could go as well since if Rosalie was in one of those houses, she'd probably want to see someone familiar. Cragen immediately agreed.

As John hurried back to his desk to grab his belongings, he suddenly stopped when he saw Olivia enter the squad-room. She was frantic, her hands shaking and her eyes red from crying.

"Olivia! You know you are not supposed to be here!" John exclaimed.

"I don't care John. I can't sit at home and wait for Rosalie to be found. I need to be here. I need to find my daughter!" Olivia cried.

"Liv…" John started, but Olivia noticed the other officers heading out of the precinct, wearing bulletproof vests and carrying their guns.

"What's going on?" she asked and John knew he couldn't lie about this.

"We think we found a lead. I checked prison records and…William Lewis and Lowell Harris were released recently…" John said slowly. Olivia's eyes widened and her face paled at the mention of those two men.

"Oh my God…Why in the hell was Harris released?! He was supposed to be in Rikers for life!" Olivia gasped.

"I know. Overcrowding in Rikers and Lewis was released on good behavior,"

"Do you think they…." Olivia trailed off. Flashbacks of her assault flooded her mind. She remembered when he received his prison sentence, how he had to be dragged out of the courtroom because he was screaming that he was going to kill her and that this wasn't over. She remembered holding Rosalie extra tight that night, terrified that Harris would come and find her and hurt either her or Rosalie. She automatically knew that Harris had something to do with her daughter's kidnapping. It was a mother's instinct. She just knew.

"Liv, Cragen ordered Amanda, Fin, and some other officers to search both of their houses. I'm going as well. If we find Rosalie, we will let you know,"

"No, I'm going with you," Liv said defiantly as she went to her desk and pulled out her bulletproof vest.

"Liv no! You can't be on this case!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Olivia yelled. "My daughter's life is at stake! I need to find my baby!"

She felt tears spring into her eyes as she slammed her hands on her desk.

"I've fucked everything up John. This is all my fault. When Nick called me last night, Rosalie thought I was going back to work so she snuck out to Lolah's and I thought nothing of it. If I went after her, she would have never gone to that party and none of this would be happening. I let work take the front seat and now she thinks I'll never be there for her. I can't lose her John. I need to be better for her. I…" Olivia's voice cracked as her tears became sobs. John immediately went over and pulled her into a hug.

"Liv…you can't blame yourself. You are a good mother. I know how much you love Rosalie. You work hard to protect her from the harm that is out there,"

"But not this time!" Olivia sobbed, burying her face in John's chest.

"We will find her Liv. I promise you, we will find her. You have to trust us. We're all going out and we will call you when we find her. The last thing I want to see is you getting in trouble with Cragen," John reassured her. Olivia pulled away and shook her head.

"I'm coming with you, John. You can't stop me,"

John sighed. If there is one thing about Olivia, she wasn't going down without a fight. When her mind was made up, there was no changing it.

"Fine, but when you get suspended, don't come crying to me," John finally said as he grabbed his gun and vest. Olivia sighed in relief and grabbed her stuff. The two hurried to John's car and got in. As they drove, they heard from Amanda and Fin that there was nothing at William Lewis' apartment and that they were heading to Lowell Harris' apartment next. John replied that he and Olivia would meet them there. Neither Fin nor Amanda said anything about Olivia joining them. They knew she wasn't going to sit back for long.

When John and Olivia arrived at Harris' apartment, there were cops already there. They hurried out of the car and watched as some officers broke down the door and entered the space. Olivia and John pulled out their guns and joined the officers inside. They searched every room, but Harris wasn't there and neither was Rosalie.

"All clear!" an officer called.

"Damn it!" Olivia snapped as she slipped her gun back into its holster. She looked around the living room, which was the room she was standing in. The place was dark and dirty, but there wasn't anything around that could be a clue. She looked down at the floorboards and noticed one that seemed loose. She got down to the floor and pried it loose. Lifting up the board, she saw what looked like a treasure trove of pictures.

"I found something!" Olivia called as she slipped on some gloves and pulled out the pictures from the floor. What she saw made her blood run cold.

There were HUNDREDS of pictures of Rosalie. Rosalie leaving school. Rosalie walking home. Rosalie hanging out with Lolah. Harris and Lewis must have been stalking Rosalie for awhile. What was also found was a collection of photos of the other girls that were murdered. Eloisa Beckett, Georgie Lively, Allison Winters, and Hannah Strong. There was now an answer as to who murdered these girls. Yet Olivia couldn't feel relieved with Rosalie still being held captive by these bastards. She handed the pictures to another officer who bagged them as evidence and she stood up with the intention of searching for more evidence, but suddenly Cragen and Nick burst into the apartment and beelined towards Olivia.

"Detective Benson, I made it very clear that you were not to be on this case. You completely disobeyed me," Cragen said sternly, before turning to John. "Sergeant Munch you know better so don't think you're off the hook,"

"Captain, I told him that I was going to go with him. It wasn't his choice. I wasn't going to sit back and wait. I want to find my daughter," Olivia explained, trying to put the blame on herself. She knew she was in the wrong and didn't want John to get in trouble.

"Detective, I understand but this is a family case. You can't be on it. I'm sorry," Cragen said. "If this happens again, I will have to suspend you,"

"I understand…but we did find pictures under the floor. They are of Rosalie and the four girls. We know that Harris and Lewis were the ones who killed those girls and has Rosalie," Olivia explained. Cragen nodded before saying,

"Alright. Munch, stay here and continue to look for evidence. Benson, you are coming back with me and Amaro and you will be staying in my office until we solve this case, do you understand?"

"Yes sir," Olivia sighed as she walked out of the apartment with the Cragen and Amaro behind her. Once she was gone, John immediately got back to searching for any more evidence that could tell him the location of Rosalie. He went through drawers and was looking for more loose floorboards when he heard,

"I found something!"

He ran into the bedroom where Amanda and Fin were located. Amanda had gone through Harris' desk and found a notebook. On the first page was a list of supplies.

"Chains, knife, blowtorch…" Amanda read and John felt like he was going to be sick. Were these sickos using these items to hurt Rosalie? He prayed that wasn't the case.

The rest of the pages were blank, but on the very last page was an address. An address of a house upstate.

"That must be where they are!" John exclaimed. Amanda sent a text to Cragen and they were given the go-ahead to search the location. As John jumped in his car and began driving with the other officers, he prayed that Rosalie was at that address from the notebook and that she was uninjured.

* * *

A/N: That was...a lot to say the least. If you made it to the end, thanks for sticking with me. Will Rosalie be rescued? Stay tuned for Chapter 6! ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Hello hello, readers! I'm back with another chapter! Another darker chapter as Rosalie's "Nightmare" continue.

This chapter may also be triggering in the beginning. Reader Discretion is advised.

Anyway, I'm glad to see some favorites and follows on this story! Thanks and I hope to see more as this story continues!

Enjoy!

-J

* * *

Chapter 6:

Rosalie opened her eyes, but immediately closed them. Her head ached and throbbed. She struggled to open her eyes again, but her vision was fuzzy and she couldn't move any part of her body. The mixture of pills and alcohol was still affecting her. She was in so much pain, worse than anything she ever felt before.

All she could think about was why this was happening to her? She did nothing wrong. They wanted her mother so why didn't they go after her? All through the torture, they never stopped talking about her. How gorgeous she was, how skinny she was, how Rosalie was nothing like Olivia.

Rosalie started to cry as the awful memories of being raped, sliced, burned and punched came into her mind. She was a victim, just like in her mother's cases. She was dirty, disgusting, worthless. Rosalie wanted to be somebody different. Well, she got her wish. She was now Rosalie, the Victim.

Suddenly, the door of the basement flew open and she saw Will come down the stairs. She immediately curled into a ball, terrified of what was going to happen next.

"Aww. The baby's crying," Will whimpered in a degrading way. He went over to the young girl and yanked her up, causing Rosalie to squeak in terror.

"Stop that or else I'll really make you cry!" Will threw Rosalie back down on the dirty mattress and got down on her level. "You know you love this, you little whore,"

Rosalie shook her head. She hated this more than anything. She wanted to make him stop, but she felt so powerless as he began to violate her all over again. Eventually, he grew bored when Rosalie didn't react the way he wanted.

"Stupid bitch! You're fucking useless!" Will snarled, before giving a hard kick into Rosalie's side. She yelped at the pain. He continued to kick her until Rosalie was about to pass out from the pain.

"Please…stop," Rosalie wheezed as she tried to catch her breath.

"Oh, I'm not stopping. Not until I'm done with you and then…it's lights out baby,"

Rosalie cringed, but it sent shooting pains in her sides and she let out another cry. Once he had his fill, Will glared at her before turning and heading up the stairs. As he was about to exit the basement, he suddenly came face to face with Harris who said,

"I think we're in deep shit. My neighbor called saying that cops were flooding my apartment. I think they'll figure out where we are!"

Rosalie tuned in to what Harris was saying. The police were looking for her! She was going to be saved!

"Well, what do we do?!" Will asked.

"We finish what we started,"

* * *

John sped up the road with other police cars driving in front of him and behind him. They were almost at the address in Harris' notebook. Soon, the cars reached the driveway of the house. It was a quaint cabin that would have been nice to live in under normal circumstances, but what was going on wasn't normal.

John leaped out of his car and followed Fin, Amanda, and the other officers to the front door of the cabin. Fin kicked down the door and everyone flooded inside.

"POLICE!"

They looked around the house, checking every room but there was no sign of anyone. As each room was cleared, John noticed a door and heard muffled sounds from inside. On instinct, he ran to the door and hurried down the stairs.

* * *

Harris pushed past Will and zoomed down the stairs and over to Rosalie and whipped out a gun, aiming it at Rosalie's head. Rosalie let out a scream. This was it. She was going to die.

"No…no…" Rosalie stuttered, unable to speak.

"I should have done this to your mother a long time ago. Fucking bitch. Besides, who would want you anyway?"

Rosalie let out a sob as she squeezed her eyes shut, preparing for everything to end.

"Goodbye, little girl,"

She heard the safety click, but before anything could happen, she heard a familiar voice yell:

"POLICE! Get away from that girl!"

As soon as John saw Harris with a gun aimed at Rosalie's head, he whipped out his own gun and yelled for him to get away from Rosalie. However, Harris shot around and yanked Rosalie with him so that they were facing John and his gun was aimed at her head.

"You think this would end so easily? You thought wrong," Harris taunted.

"Lowell Harris, it's over. Put down the gun and let Rosalie go…" John said slowly, trying to hide the fear in his voice.

"This should have been done to her bitch of a mother a long time ago. She's not leaving here alive," Harris turned off the safety, and the click sent shivers down John's spine. He was so scared of what was going to happen next.

Rosalie on the other hand, was horrified when Harris grabbed her and aimed another gun at her head, but by now, she was tired and…angry. She wanted all of this to end. RIGHT. NOW. In a burst of adrenaline, Rosalie tried to break out of Harris' grasp.

"NO!" John screamed and when he saw a chance to get Harris, he took it. He raised his gun and pulled the trigger.

BANG.

He watched as Harris fell backward and slid to the floor, bringing Rosalie with him. Her eyes as wide as saucers and her mouth wide open, only no sound came out. Amanda and Fin now joined John on the stairs and gasped in horror at what they saw. It almost looked like a scene from a horror movie. There was blood everywhere.

John felt as if his heart was in his throat. The fear that was coursing through his veins had him shaking. Fin led his ex-partner up the stairs and away from the crime scene as Amanda hurried down the steps, carrying a blanket. She went over to the frozen girl and stopped when she saw her face. Rosalie's face was frozen in fear. She was staring at the scene in front of her in horror.

"Rosalie? Sweetheart?" Amanda said softly, trying to get Rosalie to snap out of it.

Rosalie couldn't believe what had just happened. She was so close to getting killed, but Lowell Harris was shot before he had the chance to do the deadly deed. She knew very well that this man kidnapped, raped, and tortured her, but still, he's dead now and she watched it happen.

"Rosalie, you're safe now…honey, please talk to me,"

Slowly Rosalie turned her head towards the blonde detective and Amanda's heart broke for the young girl. She had Harris' blood splattered on her face. Her whole body was black and blue and covered in cuts and burn marks. To Amanda, it was awful seeing how much damage there was on the outside, but she knew that the damage on the inside was far greater. She helped Rosalie stand up, covered her with the blanket and guided her out of the basement.

Meanwhile, John stood outside of the house, trying to calm down after witnessing what happened in that basement. Fin stood next to his ex-partner, trying to be a source of comfort but he too was struggling to process what had happened to his fellow detective's daughter.

"That sick son of a bitch is dead John. You did the right thing shooting Lowell Harris. They will never hurt another girl again," Fin said, but John shook his head.

"I know Fin…but Rosalie…those bastards did a number on her. The cuts, the bruises, the burns…" John shuddered. He couldn't get the image of the brutalized girl out of his head. He was furious at the two men, wishing that they could experience the same torture that they inflicted on his Munchkin. Suddenly he realized that someone was missing.

"Wait…where's William Lewis?"

Fin's eyes widened and the two men shot up and looked around. Eventually, they were told by other officers that while they did everything they could, William Lewis had gotten away. It only further angered John and even Fin felt angry. This wasn't over. With William Lewis still out there, neither Rosalie or Olivia for that matter were safe.

"We're coming out!" John and Fin heard Amanda call from inside the house. They turned and watched as Amanda led the still frozen Rosalie out of the house of horrors that she was kept a prisoner in.

Rosalie saw the swarms of officers and EMTs that watched as she exited the house. She felt instantly panicked by everyone staring at her. Two male EMTs came rushing over to get her loaded into the ambulance, but the sudden approach caused the young girl to start screaming. She tried to fight the EMTs and tried to get away, but she couldn't. John immediately sprang into action and hurried over to the scene.

"Rosalie! Rosalie, you're okay!" John reassured and when Rosalie saw her Uncle Munch, she stopped screaming but was still terrified.

"Let me go with her to the hospital. I'm her emergency contact," John explained to the EMTs which was accurate. If something were to ever happen to Olivia, John would become Rosalie's legal guardian. The EMTs nodded, and with slow and careful precision, they got Rosalie onto a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance, with John going with her to the hospital. Rosalie would not lie down. Instead, she sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face in her knees. As the EMTs tried to work in checking if the girl was alright, John watched as Rosalie seemed to be a new person. No more was the girl who smiled so brightly and cracked jokes. This girl was traumatized and seemingly mute as she hasn't said a word since being found by the police.

"Rosalie?" John said, hoping Rosalie would respond.

Nothing.

"Rosie?" John said her name again, this time using the nickname he called her when she was little. "I know everything is scary right now…but you're safe now. I promise you, no one will ever hurt you again,"

He slowly reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Rosalie finally looked up and into his eyes. She started shaking once again and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She wanted to tell him that all she wanted was her mom, but she just couldn't say anything. She finally burst into tears and John immediately went over and pulled her into a hug. As she sobbed into his chest, John tried to hold back his own tears. He hated seeing his beloved 'niece' in so much pain. He wished that he could take away her pain, but he couldn't. As the ambulance sped to the nearest hospital, all John could think about was how Olivia was going to react to this.

* * *

A/N: Rosalie has been saved, but what shall happen next? Will Rosalie be okay? How will Olivia handle all of this? Also, while Lowell Harris is now dead, where's William Lewis and what does this mean for the Bensons? Stay tuned for Chapter 7! ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Olivia burst through the doors of Mercy General Hospital and was greeted by Munch, Fin, and Amanda who were waiting in the waiting room.

"Where is she? Where is my daughter?!" Olivia cried, but Munch got up and went over to her.

"Liv, she's in the OR…they did a real number on her,"

"Oh my God…" Olivia breathed as she slowly sank into one of the plastic chairs. "Where are they now…Harris and Lewis?"

"Harris is dead…but Lewis got away," John answered honestly. Olivia gasped as she fought between screaming and sobbing. She couldn't even feel relief that Harris was dead because knowing Lewis got away meant that he was going to come back and finish what he started. It was his M.O. Nothing was going to change that.

Suddenly, a doctor came out and walked over to the group of detectives.

"Excuse me, are you all here for Rosalie Benson?"

Olivia immediately jumped up and said,

"Yes! I'm her mother. Is my daughter okay?"

"I'm Dr. Garrison. Rosalie survived the surgery. She is a very lucky girl. She had four broken ribs and a concussion, but we repaired the damage. Her blood alcohol was high and she had traces of tranquilizers and Rohypnol in her system. She had a lot of cuts, cigarette burn marks, and bruises all over her body, but some in time will fade," the doctor explained.

Olivia was horrified. Hearing everything that was inflicted on Rosalie made her guilt spike to higher levels.

"Doctor…w-was she raped?" Olivia asked slowly and with fear. She hated that this was a question she needed to ask.

"We plan to do a rape kit once Rosalie wakes up. Since she is a minor, do we have your consent to perform a rape kit on her?"

"Yes," Olivia answered immediately.

"Thank you. Right now, Rosalie's in the ICU, but you can see her now. Only one person at a time and family only," Dr. Garrison added, the last sentence aimed towards to other detectives in the waiting room. Olivia wanted to see her daughter now, so she followed the doctor down the hall and through the doors to the ICU. When they reached Rosalie's room, Dr. Garrison left so that he could give mother and daughter some privacy.

Olivia walked in but stopped short when she saw her daughter. Rosalie's face was as pale as the sheets she was laying on and she was hooked up to a collection of tubes and wires. When Dr. Garrison said that Rosalie had cuts, burns, and bruises, he wasn't kidding. Rosalie was black and blue from head to toe, with angry red cuts and burns scattered all over her arms and face. She looked…almost dead. Olivia made her way to her daughter's side and took a hold of her hand.

"Oh Rosalie…" she murmured. "I'm right here. I love you so much baby and I'm not going anywhere,"

Tears welled up in Olivia's eyes as she pulled up a chair and sat beside her daughter's hospital bed.

"I'm so sorry Rosalie. I should have never let you go to Lolah's. I never went back to work that night. I told Nick that the weekend was meant for you and me. If I had only gone after you or called you or anything, this would have never happened. I never wanted this to happen to you. If those men wanted to hurt me so much, they should have gone after me, not you. I will never forgive myself for what happened to you and for forgetting about you for so long, but I promise you that I will be there when you need me and I will be there to help you heal," Olivia said, as she swiped at the tears in her eyes. She didn't want to cry at the moment. She needed to be strong for her daughter.

Soon Rosalie's eyes blinked open and Olivia let out a relieved sigh.

"Rosalie? Can you hear me?"

When Rosalie opened her eyes, all she felt was stinging pain. In her head, her chest, everywhere. She could barely move without pain shooting through her body. She blinked a couple of times and saw that she wasn't in the basement anymore, but in a clean white hospital room. She felt panicky as she wasn't sure if she was safe, but then she heard,

"Rosalie baby? It's me, Mommy,"

Rosalie slowly looked over and saw her mother sitting in a chair next to her bed. Her eyes were red and she looked exhausted, but alert. Rosalie didn't know how to react. She felt so many emotions course through her. Embarrassment, shame, fear, anger. All she wanted was her mother before, but now she almost wished her mother wasn't here. She felt too exhausted to think or do anything, so she stared at the ceiling again silently.

"Baby please talk to me!" Olivia grabbed her daughter's hand, but Rosalie pulled away and faced away from her. "Baby I know you are hurting and I know you went through so much, but I want you to know that I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere. Please don't shut me out,"

Rosalie squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want her mother looking at her, treating her like a victim. She didn't want to talk either because what was the point. She screamed and cried in that basement as she was raped and tortured but no one came for her. She felt like she had no voice.

She hoped that by not engaging with her mother, she eventually would leave the room, but she never left. Her mother stayed with her, never leaving that chair beside her bed. Eventually, Rosalie drifted off to sleep, still hoping that her mother would leave her alone when she woke up again.

* * *

An hour later, Olivia heard a light knock on the door. She turned and saw Amanda standing outside with a nurse. She knew immediately what was going on before Amanda said anything.

"Liv…we have to do the rape kit. Captain told me I should do it, but you can stay in the room,"

"I'll stay…but Rosalie won't talk to me. I don't know if she'll talk to you," Olivia admitted.

"We can try, but it's important we get this done," Amanda said and Olivia nodded.

"I agree," Olivia then turned to Rosalie and gently woke her up. "Rosalie, honey? Amanda and I want to talk to you,"

Rosalie opened her eyes and internally groaned when she heard her mother's voice. _'I guess she never left,'_ Rosalie thought. She noticed that her headache had subsided, but she still felt awful and in pain. She slowly turned and when she saw Amanda and a nurse waiting, she froze. She knew what this was. A rape kit. She heard her mother talk about them in her cases. This was proving the terrible truth that she was a rape victim. A label that will stick with her forever.

"Rosalie, Amanda is here to ask you some questions and the nurse is going to check you out," Olivia explained slowly and to Rosalie, like a toddler. She tried not to roll her eyes. Her mother did not need to handhold her and treat her like a fragile doll. Yet, Rosalie was absolutely terrified of what was happening.

"Hey, Rosalie. How are you feeling?" Amanda asked kindly.

Rosalie did not answer. She stared at the ceiling, refusing to give eye contact to the blonde detective.

"I know this is all a lot to handle, but I promise that we'll try and make this as comfortable as possible," Amanda eventually added, after realizing that Rosalie wasn't going to answer. "Do you understand?"

Still no answer. Rosalie did not want to talk. She especially did not want to talk about the basement of horrors she was subjected to with her mother in the room. She was too mortified. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Amanda came closer and sat down on the edge of Rosalie's hospital bed.

"Honey, would you feel better if your mother wasn't in the room?"

"Amanda no! I'm staying with her!" Olivia protested, but it fell onto deaf ears. Rosalie thought about it and slowly and fearfully, she nodded her head yes.

Olivia felt a pang of hurt in her heart. She tried not to show it though as Amanda turned toward her and shrugged. Olivia quickly gathered herself and said,

"If you need me, sweetheart, I'll be right outside!"

Olivia slowly left the room as the nurse handed her some paperwork to fill out for the kit. Once Rosalie was alone with Amanda and the nurse, she felt a bit of relief, but she still did not want to talk. There was no point. She was sure that her voice wasn't going to matter. She didn't matter. Not anymore.

"Rosalie, I'm going to start with some questions. Were you assaulted once or multiple times in the basement?" Amanda asked.

Rosalie shivered, shrinking back as the memories from the basement flooded her mind. Amanda waited for an answer, but Rosalie wouldn't talk. She sighed and said,

"How about this. If you were assaulted once, blink once. If you were assaulted multiple times, blink twice,"

Rosalie slowly looked at Amanda and after a second of hesitation, she blinked twice.

"Okay, Rosalie. You're doing great. How many times?" Amanda continued, relieved that she was able to get the young girl to communicate, even if it was through blinking.

Rosalie cringed as she thought about all that was done to her during that time in the basement. She blinked seven times after counting and recounting. It horrified her that this happened to her SEVEN times. She felt dirty and disgusting.

"Now Rosalie, I'm going to have Nurse Dana examine you while I collect a statement about what happened to you. I know you don't want to, but you need to talk to me. Please?" Amanda asked, silently pleading for the young girl to comply.

Rosalie just looked at the detective as tears welled in her eyes. She didn't want to talk! She wouldn't, she couldn't…

"I…I can't!" Rosalie finally burst out, before breaking into sobs. She couldn't do it anymore. Amanda's heart broke once more as she watched the young girl in front of her, sobbing her eyes out.

"Would you like me to get your mom?" Amanda asked softly, but Rosalie shook her head.

"NO!" Rosalie cried.

"Why not sweetheart?"

"I d-don't w-want her to l-look at me," Rosalie stumbled in between sobs. "This is all my f-fault! This w-wasn't supposed to happen to m-me!"

Amanda reached out and gently grabbed one of Rosalie's shaking hands.

"This was not your fault Rosalie and your mother would never blame you. She loves you more than anything in this world,"

"No, she doesn't! She loves her job!" Rosalie snapped as she yanked her hand away. Amanda sighed, at a loss for words. She decided to move forward for now, but she reminded herself to talk to Olivia after this was done.

"Let's breathe for a second, okay?" Amanda said carefully as Rosalie's sobs subsided. After a couple of seconds, she pulled out her notepad and pen and the nurse came over to the young girl, helping her sit up in bed without further injuring her sore ribs.

"Hi Rosalie, I'm Nurse Dana. We're going to start with your head first. Lean forward and I will be going to comb through your hair and collect anything that falls out," Nurse Dana said, holding a sterile comb from the kit. Rosalie hesitated, but she gave the nurse access to her long brown hair, wincing at the stinging pain in her chest.

"Let's start from the very beginning, Rosalie. The night you were taken," Amanda spoke up next and Rosalie knew that there was no way she could get around it. This was happening.

"My mom and I were going to spend the weekend together, but on Saturday she got a call from the precinct. I thought she was going to go in so I went to my friend Lolah's house. She wanted to go to this party at Peter's Lake and…I decided to go with her," Rosalie started, leaving out little details, like how Lolah pressured her to go and such.

"Alright, now I need to take 10 strands of your hair for comparison," Nurse Dana interjected gently. As Nurse Dana collected the hair strands, Rosalie was urged to continue by Amanda.

"We get to the party and Lolah disappeared into the crowd. I was alone…until a guy showed up…Will…" Rosalie started to shake as the memories that were once positive at the party turned sour.

"William Lewis…" Amanda murmured as she wrote down Rosalie's statement.

"He was nice to me…and we danced…and he kept giving me drinks so I drank them. I don't remember anything after that…"

"That's okay honey. What do you remember next?"

"We will now be taking fingernail scrapings, Rosalie," Nurse Dana quickly added and Rosalie gingerly held out her hands.

"I woke up in the basement. It was dark and I was chained to a mattress…" Rosalie couldn't continue. She was getting closer to the part of the story where she was tortured. She didn't want to remember. "Can we stop? Please?"

"Honey, I know this is hard, but please keep going,"

Rosalie shook her head and Amanda sighed.

"We can take a break, but the sooner we get your statement, the better. Okay?"

Rosalie didn't answer. She didn't want to speak any further. She still allowed Nurse Dana to continue with the rape kit, including using a UV light to identify any fluids on her body and examining the lower half of her body, while collecting samples and swabs. Rosalie squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that all of this would end soon. She hated all of this. She wished that she was dead.

Soon the examination was complete and the rape kit was sealed and whisked away. Soon only Amanda was in the room with Rosalie who still didn't want to talk.

"Rosalie, we are so close. Please let's continue on with the statement,"

Rosalie shook her head no, her aggravation growing.

"I know how hard this is, but if we get the rest of your statement, then we can…" Amanda tried to convince the young girl, but Rosalie finally couldn't take it and cut the detective off.

"FINE! Do you want to know what happened to me?! I'll fucking tell you!" Rosalie snapped angrily. She normally never curses, but that was the old Rosalie. She's gone now.

"They chained me to a fucking mattress in the basement and then Will and this other man RAPED me! They took turns doing it too! Oh! After that, do you know what else they did!? They cut me up with knives and lit cigarettes only to extinguish them on my skin! They also force fed me pills and alcohol to keep me quiet! They did this for HOURS. When you all finally decided to show up, they were going to fucking shoot me and to top it all off, that Lowell man was shot in front of me before he had the chance to shoot me, but you know what Amanda, when I screamed and screamed for help while those men took away my childhood, NO ONE CAME!" Rosalie screamed the last sentence before yelling at Amanda to get out of her room. Rosalie grabbed her pillow and buried her face into it. She was filled with so much animosity and pain. Her life was OVER. Now she could never become popular or have friends or be normal! She was always going to be known as the 'girl who was raped'. If she had never gone to that party, this all wouldn't be happening.

Amanda decided to leave the young girl alone. She had gotten the statement. Amanda left the hospital room quietly and bumped into Olivia who was waiting anxiously outside her daughter's room.

"How is she?" Olivia asked.

"She's gone through a lot and she's hurting from it. Those bastards destroyed her Liv…I'm honestly glad that Harris is dead. He'll never hurt someone like that ever again. As for Lewis…we're going to find that bastard and he will rot in hell for what he did," Amanda responded and Olivia pushed back tears that were threatening to come out.

"Does she hate me?" Olivia whispered.

"She's angry and she thinks you'll hate her after what happened. I'm thinking that's why she didn't want you in the room with her for the rape kit exam. I think you should talk to her and be there, even if she doesn't want you there,"

Olivia nodded, understanding. Yet at the same time, she didn't understand. She really did want to talk to Rosalie and try and be there for her, yet she wasn't sure how to be there. She was so used to being buried with work and Rosalie was fine by herself…or was she?

Amanda had to go back to the precinct with the statement so she bid Olivia farewell and left the hospital, leaving Olivia outside of Rosalie's room. She slowly walked in and saw her daughter flat on her back, but facing away from her.

"Rosalie? Are you okay?" Olivia asked carefully.

Are you okay… _Are you okay…_

Nothing was okay!

Rosalie wanted to scream at that question because how could her mother even ask that question when she knew that her daughter was in that basement and was hurt so badly as said by the doctors. She bit her lip and continued to look away from her mother.

"Baby please talk to me! I'm not mad at you and I don't blame you if that is what you are thinking. You did nothing wrong. " Olivia begged. "Please Rosalie. Let me in. Let me be there for you,"

Rosalie tried to ignore her mother's words, but yet she heard them and she felt waves of emotion course through her. All she wanted was someone to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright, even when she didn't feel that way. At the same time, she wanted nothing to do with her mother. All her mother did and cared about was her job. Rosalie knew that once she was out of the hospital and 'stable' enough, her mother would go right back to work and pretend that nothing ever happened, so all this "let me in" nonsense was simply well, nonsense! Rosalie tried to stay quiet, but eventually, she exploded.

"JUST GO AWAY GODDAMNIT!" Rosalie screamed.

Olivia flinched at the sudden outburst from her daughter.

"Rosalie?"

"GO AWAY! GO BACK TO YOUR JOB! STOP LYING TO ME WHEN YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT THE PRECINCT ALWAYS COMES FIRST. JUST DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LEAVE!" Rosalie continued to scream, tears now streaming down her face and her chest aching. "JUST LEAVE!"

Olivia stood frozen at the words her daughter was saying. Did she really think that she would put her job first at this moment? She wanted to run over and tell her daughter that she wasn't leaving her, but at the same time, she didn't want to upset her daughter further. She stood there conflicted while daughter continued to scream, before finally turning on her heel and quickly leaving the room, trying to conceal the tears streaming down her own face.

Rosalie stopped when she heard her mother leave the room. She really did leave…Rosalie was secretly hoping that maybe her mother would stay and prove her wrong, but she didn't. She left and was probably on her way to the precinct at that very moment. She began to cry again, only this time her tears were now heartbroken ones.

* * *

 **A/N: ...Well, it's been a year since I last posted, folks. If you've made it to this point, thanks for reading! I've been getting emails about readers liking and following the story (which I super appreciate, thank you!) and it reminded me about this story, so I'm back and I'll try to post regularly. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave a review if you'd like and stay tuned for Chapter 8!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N 1: Including a TW here for certain flashbacks, little mentions of disordered thoughts, and a scene of self-harm at the very end. Reader discretion is advised. Now here is Chapter 8!**

* * *

Chapter 8:

Olivia kept walking until she reached the seemingly empty waiting room. She collapsed into one of the plastic chairs and cried. She had never wanted to hurt Rosalie but she felt that she did by spending all of her time at work and never checking in or spending time with her. Now her daughter wanted nothing to do with her. She should have spent more time with her. She should have talked to her and asked her how she was feeling. It was too late now. She didn't know if she could ever fix things with her daughter now.

"Olivia?"

Olivia looked up to see John standing in front of her. She didn't even hear or see him in the room.

"Is Rosalie okay? What's going on?"

Olivia let out a shaky sigh.

"Amanda got Rosalie's statement and a rape kit was done on her, but she won't talk to me. I tried telling her that I didn't blame her and that it wasn't her fault, but…she told me to go back to the precinct. She really thinks I put my job first…which I have been doing and I blame myself for it because now…I think I lost her John…" Olivia buried her face in her hands, trying hard not to start crying again. She felt John sit next to her and wrap his arm around her.

"I was going to say I told you so, but I won't. Not now, not here. Liv, Rosalie's not stupid. She came to that precinct so often, hoping to get some time with you. What's done is done now. There's no going back and reversing the past, but you can start over starting now by being there for her recovery. Don't go rushing back to the precinct so quickly. You know we all can handle the cases and Captain is more than willing to let you take time off. Consider it at least," John said sternly, but also in a calm way. Olivia didn't think twice. She wanted to make amends with Rosalie and she would do anything to do so, even if it meant taking time off from work.

"I'll leave you be for now. May I see Rosalie? I have some things for her,"

Olivia looked over and noticed some flowers and a gift bag from the hospital's gift shop. She cracked a small smile and nodded. She wanted to mull things over and talk to Cragen about taking time off anyway.

* * *

John walked down the hallway towards Rosalie's room. When he reached the entryway, he poked his head in and saw the young girl staring at the ceiling, attached to multiple machines, and looking as though she had been crying.

"Knock knock!" John gave a light knock on the door. Rosalie turned her head quickly towards the door, thinking her mother had come back, but it was only her 'Uncle Munch'. She wasn't upset though. She was actually quite happy to see him, although she kept her emotions at bay.

John walked in and held out the bouquet of daffodils he picked up at the florist across the street from the hospital.

"No Roses for a Rosalie I'm afraid, but I got you daffodils!" John exclaimed and Rosalie couldn't help but crack a smile. Rosalie, despite being named after her mother's favorite flower, HATED roses, and already in the room was a bouquet of red roses. Seeing that her 'Uncle' had brought daffodils though, which was actually Rosalie's favorite flower, made her feel better. After replacing the roses with the daffodils on the table next to her bed, John sat in the chair next to Rosalie's bed and held out the gift bag towards her.

"I picked up some of your favorite things but had to use a hospital gift bag so I could bring them to you," John explained. Rosalie took the bag and pulled out the items from inside. First was an adult coloring book which included colored pencils. Next was two of her favorite candy bars, a Milky Way bar, and a Twix bar. Rosalie then pulled out a book about the most important Conspiracy Theories that everyone should know. Rosalie gave a quizzical look towards her 'Uncle' and John couldn't help but laugh.

"What? They go into depth about the Great Math Conspiracy!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and genuinely smiled for the first time after all that she went through. John saw the smile and it made him happy knowing that he had brought some joy to his 'niece', who certainly needed some. Finally, Rosalie pulled out a brown paper bag that was cold to the touch, which she knew was a Strawberry milkshake from Schmendricks. She saw her 'Uncle' smile and pull out from the inside of his jacket, his own milkshake in a brown paper bag.

"Couldn't forget about our shakes now,"

Rosalie smiled, happy about all of her gifts and that she wasn't alone. She almost felt normal again, but deep down she knew that she wasn't, considering that she was hooked up to machines and in a hospital bed. She could never go back to the way things were, but for now, it was a lovely distraction.

There was some silence after that. John was expecting Rosalie to talk, but she kept her mouth closed, and half of the time she wasn't giving direct eye contact. He cleared his throat and said,

"Hey…come on talk to me. I know you're doing the silent treatment with your mom, but you can't do it with me. You know you can always talk to me. What's up?"

Rosalie stared at her gifts, unsure of what to do. Finally, she sighed and said,

"That day in the precinct…when I brought you the milkshake from Schmendricks and I wouldn't talk to you and practically ran out of there…"

John nodded, remembering that day exactly. When the air conditioner broke and also when Rosalie seemed a little off.

"…That party at Peter's Lake…my friend Lolah had told me all about it and she had pressured me into going…I was going to tell you about it but I chickened out," Rosalie's lip began to tremble as she tried to hold her self together. "I just wanted to be different. I wanted to be like everyone else and go to parties and make more friends…I wanted to not be stupid shy Rosalie,"

"But why would you want to be everyone else when you are your own special Rosalie?" John asked.

"Uncle Munch, I'm a loser! Nobody ever wants to be around me, not even my gymnastics team…they all hate me because I'm shy and careful and 'too nice'. I thought going to the party would help me become a 'different' Rosalie…" Rosalie exclaimed, before adding sarcastically, "Well it sure worked, because now I'm Rosalie! The girl who got kidnapped and raped, and who is a waste of time and space…"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" John stopped the young girl from berating herself. "Rosalie, you are NOT a waste of time or space. You are your own person Rosalie and if nobody in your school likes that, then that's their problem,"

"Uncle Munch everyone keeps telling me that this wasn't my fault, but I feel that it is. I should have never gone to that party, then none of _this_ would be happening!" Rosalie felt angry tears well up in her eyes. "I shouldn't even be here. They should have just killed me down there…"

"Rosalie stop!" John raised his voice, almost yelling. He moved closer to the young girl and gripped her trembling hands tightly. "I don't want you to ever say that again. You are meant to be here and I will tell you right now, this wasn't your fault! Those men wanted to hurt your mother and they knew the best way to hurt her was to go after you. You did nothing wrong. They were the ones at fault. Rosalie…please believe me when I say this. You are a beautiful, strong, kind, and loving person. You make your mother proud every day and you make me proud as well. This whole thing is a rut in the road right now, but you can come back stronger, so don't think for a minute that you shouldn't be here,"

Rosalie took a shaky breath and nodded, understanding what her 'Uncle' had said. Yet as he pulled her into a hug, Rosalie couldn't stop believing what she had said. Those men took everything away from her. They destroyed her, dirtied her. How could she come back after this? Soon Rosalie pulled away. She tried to put on a brave face for now.

"You better drink your shake or else it will become a Milk-Soup!" Rosalie joked half-heartily.

"Same to you!" John answered back as he grabbed his drink from the paper bag and dug in, but Rosalie couldn't bring herself to take a sip. She looked at it and she just had no interest or desire to enjoy it. She pretended to take sips just to appease her 'Uncle', but nothing ever passed her lips. Soon her 'Uncle' had to leave and she thanked him for being there and for the gifts. As soon as he disappeared from sight, she took the shake and threw it in the garbage can next to her bed as well as her two candy bars.

It was the first time she didn't want to eat.

* * *

A couple of days passed and Rosalie was healing from her injuries. Her ribs weren't hurting as much now and even her scars and burns were starting to fade a bit. She still refused to speak to her mother, but Olivia persisted in trying to be there for her daughter. Rosalie wanted to believe that maybe her mother was changing, but deep down she figured that it was all an act and that her mother was going to go back to normal once she was up on her feet again.

Soon the doctors told her that she could go home. Rosalie was more than happy to do so. She was starting to go stir-crazy in that hospital bed. As soon as she was signed out, she and her mother left the hospital and went home. During the car ride, Rosalie remained silent, watching the active and busy city blur through her car window. Olivia tried to make small talk, but Rosalie was not interested. Maybe once they were home, Rosalie would start to open up.

Once they reached the apartment, Olivia unlocked the door and ushered Rosalie inside.

"Welcome home sweetheart! Is there anything you want or need?" Olivia asked.

Rosalie shook her head and started walking towards her room.

"Oh wait! Rosalie, your phone was smashed and unusable, so I got you something to hold you over until we can get a new one," Olivia held out an older cell phone that wasn't the latest and greatest, but it was something Rosalie could use to call and text people if she needed to. Rosalie took the phone and nodded her thanks. She went back to walking towards her room. When she got there and looked around, it felt different. Maybe it was because she hadn't been there for a while, but it still felt a bit strange. Quickly she closed the door and stripped out of the clothes the hospital gave her. She grabbed a fresh bra and underwear, some black leggings, and an oversized sweatshirt to wear, but before she could get dressed, she couldn't help but stare at herself in her full-length mirror. She winced at the sight of her healing cuts and bruises, which was the first thing she saw right off the bat…but she also saw something else. Her stomach was huge and protruding out like a pregnant woman's belly. Her arms were wide and flabby. Her thighs were ginormous. Her butt was hideous. She looked…ugly.

 _"God, she is a spitting image of Olivia!"_

 _"She had a better ass though, and she was much skinnier. Pudgy little thing this is,"_

 _"Nobody likes fat little cows,"_

Rosalie pulled her away from the mirror. She couldn't bear to look at herself anymore. Not when all she could hear now were those men's cruel voices in her head. She truly was fat. A pudgy nobody. She needed to get rid of it…but how?

Rosalie finally got dressed and sat down at her desk. In a drawer, she found a little red notebook that her mother had given her a long time ago as a 'diary', but Rosalie just threw it in her desk drawers, uninterested at the time, but now this notebook might be something useful…

Rosalie flipped open to the first page and with a red pen she scrawled,

FAT. WORTHLESS. PIG. LOSE WEIGHT YOU FAT WHORE.

Satisfied, she closed her notebook for now. Soon she heard a knock on the door.

"Rosalie?" Olivia opened her daughter's door and walked in. "Are you hungry? I can make you anything you'd like?"

Rosalie shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do was eat.

"Do you want to talk then?" Olivia asked as she walked over to Rosalie's bed and sat down. Rosalie tried hard not to roll her eyes.

"Sweetheart, we really should talk about this. About everything. Please, please talk to me,"

Rosalie turned away and stood up, aiming to walk out of the room. Where she was going to go, she wasn't sure. She just wanted to be as far away from her mother as possible. Suddenly, Olivia stood up and cried,

"Goddamnit, Rosalie! Would you please just stop and talk to me!"

"Why should I?" Rosalie snapped back. "Everyday I came to the precinct and when I needed to talk to you, you were too busy or never there, so why should I talk to you now?"

"Rosalie you went through something incredibly traumatic…"

"Well, gee! Thanks for reminding me!" Rosalie interrupted angrily.

"…and I want to be here for you! I want to listen, I want to help you,"

"I don't need your help, and besides. Once I'm deemed "cured" in your eyes, you'll go back to work and forget I exist again so there is no point in you 'wanting to help' because you won't!" Rosalie was about to storm out of her room when Olivia dashed over and grabbed Rosalie's wrist to keep her from leaving.

"Rosalie please!" Olivia begged, but Rosalie immediately flashed back to when she was attacked.

 _"Please…stop," Rosalie wheezed as she tried to catch her breath._

 _"Oh, I'm not stopping. Not until I'm done with you and then…it's lights out baby,"_

"GET OFF ME!" Rosalie screamed as she yanked away from Olivia and scrambled away from her. She ran out of her room and aimlessly ran to the bathroom down the hall, where she slammed the door and locked it. She slid down to the ground and tried to regain her breath as her mother pounded on the door outside.

"Rosalie?! Baby, I'm sorry! Please open the door!" Olivia cried, but Rosalie wasn't opening that door. She buried her face in her knees and started sobbing. She hated those her men. She hated her mom. But most of all, she hated herself.

When Rosalie heard her mother leave, like she knew she would, she stood up and walked over to the mirror where she cringed at her reflection. Her cheeks were stained with tears, her hair disheveled, the bruises and cuts more prominent. She was disgusting. Quickly she opened the mirror to grab some soap to wash her face but found a razor next to the soap. Normally she wouldn't think about it, but seeing the sharp silver gleam was almost tempting. She slowly grabbed the razor and stared at it in her hand.

 _"Do it…do it…do it…"_

She sat down on the edge of the bathtub and rolled up the sleeves of her sweatshirt. A shiver of fear went down her back. She knew she shouldn't do it, but all she wanted relief and in her head, this was what she needed to do.

She placed the blade against her wrist, put slight pressure on it and slowly pulled it across her skin. She watched the blood drip down her wrist as tears trickled down her cheeks again. She felt like she was in control. Yet once she was done, she still felt worthless, useless, nothing. Broken.

* * *

 **A/N2: Wowie, another chapter so soon! Hope you all enjoyed it! Anyway, now we're getting into Rosalie's path of self-destruction. What will happen next?! Leave a review if you'd like and stay tuned for Chapter 9!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N 1: Including a TW here for certain flashbacks, mentions of eating disorder thoughts and behaviors, and a scene of self-harm. Reader discretion is advised. Now here is Chapter 9!**

* * *

Chapter 9:

Olivia tried. She tried to talk to her daughter and show her that she wanted to be there for her, but it didn't work. Her daughter wanted nothing to do with her. It was all Olivia's fault. She should have been there for her. She should have not let her job come first. The past is the past though and Olivia couldn't go back in time, but she could try to change the narrative and try at least to be there for her daughter in this moment of pain. When Rosalie locked herself in the bathroom, she didn't know what to do so she ended up walking away to recollect herself. She was going to try again later.

Later that evening, she went to check on Rosalie who had slipped back into the room at some point. When she opened the door, she saw her daughter curled in a ball on her bed, asleep. Olivia walked over to her sleeping daughter and sat down gently on the bed. She brushed a couple of loose strands of her hair away and whispered,

"I love you, baby. No matter what, I'm here for you,"

Suddenly she saw Rosalie whimpering and beginning to toss and turn.

"No…Please stop…PLEASE STOP! HELP ME!"

Olivia immediately shook her daughter awake.

"Rosalie wake up! You're home, you're safe!"

Rosalie shot up and launched herself away from her mother's touch.

"Rosalie it's me. It's Mommy…you're okay, baby,"

Rosalie pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She knew she was in her room and she wasn't in that basement, but that dream felt so real. She truly thought she was back in the basement and those two men were raping her all over again.

"Is there anything I can do for you baby?" Olivia asked, inching a little closer towards her daughter.

Rosalie flinched and shook her head.

Olivia sighed. She once again didn't know what to say to make everything better. She felt useless.

"Rosalie I…I don't know what to do. Seeing you like this, seeing you hurting…it's tearing me apart,"

Rosalie almost scoffed when she heard her mother say that. Of course, she didn't know what to do. Her mother knew how to solve a case, make a rapist admit to his crimes, and comfort a victim, but she didn't know how to be a mother and she didn't know how to help her own daughter who was a victim likes the ones she worked with every day. It was ridiculous.

"What do you need Rosalie? Please tell me and I'll do anything," Olivia begged.

Rosalie took a shaky breath and said slowly,

"What I need…is for you to leave me alone,"

"Rosalie…"

"I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE! Go to your job and leave me alone to rot!" Rosalie screamed as she buried her face in her pillow and screamed at the top of her lungs. Olivia watched her daughter scream and her heart broke, tears coming to her eyes. She had to do something. She couldn't let her daughter fall apart. Seeing Rosalie scream into her pillow brought back memories that she thought she kept hidden away for years. Instead of leaving again, she stayed in her daughter's room and waited until Rosalie's screams stopped. She took a deep breath and spoke.

"I know Rosalie. I know how much you are hurting. How those men took away everything and left you broken and destroyed. Baby, _I know._ I know because those men hurt me too,"

Rosalie stopped. Her mother was still there. She was certain her mother would leave with her carrying on a racket like that. What also surprised her was what her mother said. Lowell Harris and William Lewis hurt her mother as well?

"I was undercover at a women's prison years ago. You were young, I believe you were staying with Elliot and his family at the time…"

Rosalie vaguely remembered staying with her mother's ex-partner many years back. One of the only times she wasn't looked after by her 'Uncle Munch' as he was swamped with giant cases and couldn't look after her.

"Anyway…Lowell Harris was the prison guard for that women's prison and one day he led me to a basement and attacked me. I tried to get away but he had me locked down there and nobody knew I was there. He beat me, kicked me…and he almost raped me but Fin came and rescued me before he could do that," Olivia shuddered as the memories washed over her, but she kept going.

"As for William Lewis…last year, while you were away for a gymnastics competition, I was working on a case where he was the main suspect. When I started getting close to nailing him, he attacked me in my apartment one night and kidnapped me. Thank God you weren't home or else he'd…anyway, he kept me in this house where he cut, burned, and attacked me. I was able to attack him and get help, but that damage was done. Harris went to prison…Lewis too, but obviously they both wanted revenge when they got out and instead of going after me again, they went after you. I never wanted this to happen to you baby girl. What I mean by telling you all of this is that I know what you are feeling and I've felt that same pain. I used to scream in my pillow and get nightmares of them attacking me all over again. I know I haven't been perfect for you, but I want you to know that I truly am here for you and I will do everything in my power to prove it to you. Please baby, let me help you through this,"

Rosalie was frozen. She had no clue that all this happened to her mother. She knew those men wanted revenge, but she didn't know they had attacked her mother as they had attacked her. Her mother kept to herself when it came to cases and events that happened in her past, but she never was this vocal before about what happened to her. She kept her face in her pillow and was silent, but she let her mother's words sink in.

Eventually, Olivia stood up and walked out of her daughter's room, but not before turning back and saying,

"I'll let you have some rest, but baby I don't want you bottling these feelings up. When you are ready, come talk to me, okay? I promise I will listen. I love you, Rosalie. More than anything in this world,"

She then left and walked to her own room, brushing away the tears that were now streaming down her face.

As for Rosalie, she lifted herself up and thought long and hard about what her mother had said. She knew that her mother was serious, but still, Rosalie believed that it was an act and that it would eventually end. Her mother always made promises but never kept them. There was no point in trusting her again. She was alone in all of this. Nothing was going to change that.

* * *

The next morning was a rainy and dreary one. Rosalie opened her tired eyes and stumbled out of bed. Last night's events came rushing back, but she quickly pushed them away. She didn't want to think about anything. Nothing she thought was good anyway.

She found herself standing in front of the mirror again and she still looked like a fat, hideous monster. She took off her pajamas and stared at every inch of her body, before looking away. She thought about her mother for a moment, and how beautiful she was. She was perfect. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect everything. Everything that Rosalie wasn't. She was this pudgy little nobody.

 _"God, she is a spitting image of Olivia!"_

 _"She had a better ass though, and she was much skinnier. Pudgy little thing this is,"_

 _"Nobody likes fat little cows,"_

Rosalie needed to get rid of the fat that was covering her body. It was summer vacation and school starts in September.

"If I start losing weight now, then I'll look better. I'll be perfect for school, for gymnastics…and for mom…" Rosalie thought to herself. If she lost weight and was perfect, then she wouldn't be such a disappointment to her and then she wouldn't abandon her again. Besides…maybe focusing on changing herself would keep her from thinking about what happened to her.

It was settled then and for the first time since the party that changed her life, she almost felt motivated. Like she was going to accomplish something in her life.

Suddenly, a strong smell of pancakes filled her bedroom. Rosalie froze.

"Oh no! Mom's making pancakes!" Rosalie thought. Normally, Rosalie would get excited about her mother making pancakes for breakfast, but not this time. Couldn't her mother see how fat she was?! She needed to think of something and fast!

A knock on her bedroom door interrupted Rosalie's thoughts.

"Rosalie I made breakfast! Come join me in the kitchen," her mother called from behind the door. Rosalie gathered herself together, threw on another sweatshirt and leggings, and walked into the kitchen where her mother was serving her two round and fluffy pancakes.

"Good morning sweetheart! I hope you're hungry, considering all you've eaten for the past couple of days was hospital food and we all know how that tastes!" Olivia greeted, trying to lighten the mood, but Rosalie didn't even crack a smile.

"I'm not hungry," Rosalie said simply and Olivia was shocked. Her daughter never passed on her pancakes!

"I know I didn't use chocolate chips in the batter, but these pancakes are still good without them!" Olivia pushed, but Rosalie shook her head.

"I'm not hungry," Rosalie repeated and this time Olivia shook her head.

"Well, Rosalie you need to eat something. You didn't eat last night and I'm sure you're hungry right now. You're not leaving the table until you eat at least what's on your plate,"

Rosalie groaned as she sat at the table. She watched as her mother drowned her own pancakes in maple syrup and she thought she was going to throw up. Rosalie tried her hardest to stay strong, but she ended up eating the two pancakes. She hated how her mother smiled when she ate her food and how she tried to push her to eat more, but Rosalie hurried out of the kitchen and back into her room before she could be further tempted.

Rosalie felt like she was going to throw up. She should have fought against the pancakes more. Asked for something else. Even pretend to eat them…but she didn't. Rosalie stormed towards her notebook, opened to a clean page, and scrawled in black pen:

YOU ARE A FAT DISGUSTING GARBAGE PIG.

She needed to get rid of what she ate, but how?! She was planning on working out, but would it be enough?

 _'You could always throw it up…'_

Rosalie paused. Flashbacks of Health Class and the movie _A Secret Between Friends_ came to her head. She knew that throwing up after eating was bad for you, but it got rid of the food faster. Soon she found herself standing in front of the toilet in the bathroom. She contemplated if she should really do this.

 _"Nobody likes fat little cows,"_

Rosalie shuddered, before bending over and sticking her fingers to back of her throat. She gagged and coughed at first, but soon some of the pancakes came up. She continued to force the pancakes out until she felt empty. It was an amazing feeling to Rosalie. Her heart was racing and she felt like she was floating. She wanted to do it again. She could eat whatever she wanted but still lose weight. Still, the gagging and coughing weren't fun, so she vowed that this wasn't going to happen every day.

After flushing the toilet and brushing her teeth, she went back to her room and pulled out her computer. She began looking up fast ways to lose weight and exercises that she could do at home. Due to her injuries, the doctors had barred her from any strenuous activity so Rosalie couldn't go running or do anything related to gymnastics for the time being, but she was still going to find some way to lose weight. She wasn't giving up. Not until she was skinny.

* * *

A week passed and Rosalie was starting to get the hang of not eating. She would put on a show during mealtimes so her mother wouldn't suspect, but in reality, she would only eat a little food and stuff the rest into her napkin when her mother wasn't looking. She also did light stretches since she was still healing from her broken ribs and other injuries. Once she was given the all-clear by the doctor, she planned on getting into running and going back to gymnastics.

Rosalie started liking how her stomach would growl for food, but she wouldn't give in to the cravings. She liked the feeling of being in control. It made her feel powerful.

One day, Rosalie was sitting on her bed and writing down her calorie intake in her notebook when she heard her mother knock on the door.

"Rosalie?"

"Come in," Rosalie sighed as she quickly closed her notebook and slid it under her pillow.

Olivia walked in and sat on the edge of her daughter's bed. One thing she noticed right off the bat was that something was off about Rosalie. Her round face seemed to be thinner. It looked like she lost a little weight. She looked okay, maybe this was from all that has happened recently. Olivia had noticed that Rosalie didn't have much of an appetite lately. All she knew was that her daughter didn't need to lose weight. She was perfect just the way she was.

"Are you alright honey?"

"I'm fine…why?" Rosalie asked cautiously.

"No reason, I'm noticing that you're looking a little thinner lately,"

Rosalie secretly beamed. She had to be losing weight then! What she was doing must be working!

"I think you look good right now, so I don't want you losing any more weight. Are you eating what I'm making?"

Rosalie nodded, knowing that she was lying.

"Okay…just making sure…" Olivia trailed off and both Benson girls sat in silence for a good minute or so before Olivia spoke up again. "So…I was thinking…it might be a good idea to go see someone about…what happened. Dr. Lindstrom, who I've been seeing, recommended someone that works with teenagers…"

"Wait, you want me to see a shrink?!" Rosalie interrupted.

"I think you would really benefit from speaking with someone…"

"No. I don't need to speak to anyone," Rosalie cut her mother off again as she got out of bed.

"Rosalie you shouldn't be bottling your feelings up. It's not healthy," Olivia protested as she stood up and followed her daughter who had walked out of her room.

"I'm not seeing a shrink!" Rosalie raised her voice angrily.

"Well if you won't speak to a psychiatrist, then talk to me! Please talk to me!" Olivia begged, matching Rosalie's raised voice. Rosalie now infuriated finally snapped.

"I DON'T WANT TO! Why must you keep pushing when I don't want to remember what happened to me!?"

Rosalie didn't want to think about it all over again, but already she was remembering everything that happened in that basement. All the pain, the torture, the words…

"Rosalie…baby…" Olivia slowly inched closer to her daughter, but as soon as her hand touched her daughter's skin, Rosalie jerked backward and started screaming.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Rosalie screamed, flailing away from her mother. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Rosalie stop! Baby, you're okay, you're safe!" Olivia quickly tried to calm the situation, but it only made Rosalie angrier.

"I'M. NOT. SAFE!" Rosalie enunciated each word. "You keep trying to make things normal, but NOTHING ISN'T NORMAL. I'M NOT NORMAL! You want the old Rosalie back, but she's DEAD! SHE DIED IN THAT FUCKING BASEMENT AND SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK!"

Rosalie turned on her heel and ran to the bathroom, which had become another sanctuary like her bedroom, and slammed the door, locking herself inside. Almost like a pattern when she locks herself in the bathroom, she yanked open the medicine cabinet and grabbed her trusty blade. Shoving up her sweatshirt sleeves, she dragged the blade across her arms. The fresh cuts decorated her skin with the past scars left by those two awful men. Each slice brought relief, but at the same time, she couldn't get the painful images out of her head. As she watched the blood seep from her arms, she slumped against the door and tried not to cry.

Olivia stood in the middle of the hallway shocked and trying to process everything that her daughter said. The hatred that spewed out of her daughter's mouth, the sweet and happy Rosalie she once knew was gone. Olivia wanted to cry, but she needed to pull herself together. She walked over to the bathroom door and knocked.

"Rosalie?"

"GO AWAY!" was the response she received.

"Sweetheart I'm sorry. I really truly am. Please open the door,"

"Leave me alone! It's what you're good at," Rosalie snapped as she started cleaning up the blood on her arm and what had dropped to the floor.

"Rosalie I'm not leaving you alone. I won't. Not now and not in the future. I know I really fucked up leaving you alone and never being there for you for so long but I'm serious when I say that I'm going to change. I will be there for you, but you need to give me a chance! Please let me show you that I'm serious,"

Rosalie thought about it. Maybe her mother was being serious. Still, she was convinced that it wasn't going to last long, but at the same time, she wanted her mother. She wanted her mother's love and attention. Rosalie bandaged her cuts and once they were well hidden, she unlocked the door and opened it to find her mother still standing in front of it.

"You're still here…" Rosalie mumbled.

"Yes honey," Olivia held out her arms and slowly Rosalie walked into the hug. She bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears.

"I love you, Rosalie. I love you so much,"

Rosalie kept her guard up as she let her mother hug her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear, but the feeling of being hugged and loved by her mother helped her calm down. When her mother pulled away and asked her if she wanted something to eat, Rosalie put on a brave face and went along with her mother's plans. As usual, she nibbled at her food and hid the majority of it in her napkin, only to be flushed down the toilet afterward.

Once she was alone again, she went on her computer and started looking up ways to eat less and lose more weight. Soon she found a website that piqued her interest. It was decorated with pictures of boney women and motivational sayings. She clicked on a page called Tips and Tricks, but the site said that she needed to sign in or sign up to access the page. Without thinking twice, Rosalie signed up for the site and didn't know what she was getting into as she clicked the giant accept button.

* * *

 **A/N 2: Back again with another chapter! Thanks to the people who followed the story! I hope you are enjoying it so far. A lot of serious stuff happened in this chapter. What will happen next?! Leave a review if you'd like and stay tuned for Chapter 10!**


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